CALL THE NSPCC. OR MAYBE A BARBER.

Some classic will-this-do from The Sun this morning, which runs a photo of Britney and child.

But why is this picture in the paper?

Because of what it shows, explains the paper:

BRITNEY Spears takes nine-month-old son Sean Preston for a stroll — showing a mystery mark on the back of his head.

Blimey! A mystery mark. Where? Eh? What? What can it mean?

Happily, and magically, there were apparently some onlookers about to speculate on what the mark might be.

Onlookers wondered if it was possibly a dent caused when he accidentally fell off his high chair last month.

Goodness! A dent, you say? A gouge, a hole of some sort? But how could the child have fallen to make a dent, visible to all, weeks later? Could this be evidence of some sort of terrible child abuse?

Oh, hang on, the wind's blown a little.

However the mark, seen when the pair went out in Malibu, California, could have been just a clump of dark hair.

Oh. So it might be a terrible, terrible injury and evidence of bad parenting, or it could just be a clump of healthy baby hair. Oh.

This isn't exactly reporting, is it? It's like they've passed the photo to someone, and just transcribed their reactions to it.

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