CHRIS MARTIN HATES FAT PEOPLE

How should you react if someone critcises your music? The appropriate thing to do might be to try and explain the thinking behind your work, or to point out the flaws in the critic's argument. Maybe, even, to shrug and say 'well, that's your opinion.' On one occassion, someone sent their wife over to tell us that we know nothing about music. That's a way of engaging.

You don't do this if you're Chris Martin, though.

Oh, no: you tell them they're fat. Martin tries to justify this:

“When someone insults you to your face about your music, the first thing you want to do is pick on something about their appearance. It’s a terrible thing but I had this woman parked outside our house.

“I would never say it to anyone else, but she drove me so crazy that I advised her to go to Weight Watchers, which was not a very nice thing to say.

“I’m not proud of it, but it’s weird how if you sort of feel like you’re being attacked you can become a real arsehole.”

Or perhaps, the real arsehole comes out. Really, Chris, if the best you can do in the face of someone pointing out the weakness in the last Coldplay album is to go "yeah, but you're a lardarse", and if you can't cope with people who aren't telling you you're great, you've got two options. One, you could try and make better music. Or you could just stop making your whiney sixth-form gurgling altogether.

music chris martin coldplay