GOOD NEWS FOR ALAN SHAW

Not just Alan, of course, but for the many people who suffer from a fear of clowns. It turns out their numbers are so great that Bestival have pulled ideas to try and break a world record. They wanted to have more people dressed as clowns than anywhere in human history.

Yes, there is both a world record for the number of clowns in one place at one time - somewhere south of 10,000 - and a name for the fear of clowns (clourophobia). It's not clear if you can turn up dressed as a clown if you enjoy doing that in your spare time.

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