MORE ON THE OSBOURNE "FIRE"

The world's press has heard about the small fire at the Osbourne mansion - "None of the family was at home. A fire service spokesman said an electrical fault in a lamp was suspected", says the BBC; the Associated Press note that "[n]either the couple nor their children Amy, Jack and Kelly were at the house" and quote a Buckinghamshire fire service sspokesperson: "We were able to prevent the fire from spreading," Pearson said. "It was relatively small." The blaze caused minor fire and smoke damage to the entrance hallway of the mansion.

So, fairly small, and none of the family at home, then.

Oddly, though, The Sun seems to be reporting on a totally different fire:

AN electrical fault sparked a huge blaze yesterday at the £5million mansion of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.

Daughter Kelly, 21, was asleep — but she was saved when a hi-tech alarm awoke staff.

Kelly, believing a dog was trapped, was led hysterical from the 18th-century manor house, which the Osbournes now claim is “cursed”.

A high-tech alarm which doesn't wake up non-staff: are the domestics at Osbourne Manors blessed with a wider hearing range than their employers? (Well, everyone has a wider hearing range than Ozzy.)

Of course, Sharon has quickly turned the thing into a sideshow, burbling away about how they're cursed. She was "working" on the set of the X Factor (there's to be another series of that, then) when she heard the news:

An insider says, "When the judges took a break there was a message for Sharon. "When she rang Kelly she started crying. She said her house was on fire but Kelly wouldn't say how bad it was. "Simon just told her to go home."

Hang about a moment... the fire was dealt with before eight in the morning yesterday, and she was returning Kelly's call? So unless they start work very, very early on the Factor, her house couldn't have been "on fire", could it?

Are the Osbournes cursed? They're making millions at a time when none of them have very much in the way of talent left to sell. Not noticeably so, then.

music sharon osbourne kelly osbourne ozzy osbourne x factor