SWASTIKA BLACK EYES

So, there's Bobby Gillespie, apparently sat quietly, minding his own business in a bar in Madrid (and it's only the "in a bar" bit which sounds wholly in character) when bloke walked up and beat the crap out of him for no apparent reason.

The Sun, of course, is afraid that "indie bloke attacked" isn't enough of a story on its own, so has to explain the true importance of Bobby:

Bobby — a close friend of Kate Moss — showed up almost 12 hours late for a pre-recorded Top Of The Pops.

They do, of course, have "a source":

Bobby turned up for filming sporting two nasty-looking black eyes and a swollen nose. The band were scheduled to film their performance on Sunday morning but Bobby was in no fit state to be in front of a camera.

“He looked like he had taken one hell of a beating. Everyone was amazed he even turned up.

“It’s not easy to hold a note when your nose is broken.”

To be fair, it's not easy for Bobby to hold a note when his nose isn't broken.

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