DON'T YOU WISH YOUR SHORTLIST WAS HOT LIKE ME

While Andrew Lloyd Webber struggles to cast a Maria for his forthcoming Sound of Music in BBC1's How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, newly created American network The CW have a similar problem. They're running a competition to find someone to join the Pussycat Dolls. Somehow they've got a programme out of that, which surely is a matter of flicking to the page after the second hand goods section and choosing one of the 'new in town' adverts?

There are already six dolls, apparently, and so the search is looking for one capable of counting the others as they get on and off the tourbus.

The network's head of entertainment, Dawn Ostroff (and it's terrible if Ostroff escapes into the water supply), says its all about empowerment:

"At its core, this show goes beyond just finding a new Pussycat Doll; it's about female empowerment, self-discovery and personal transformation."

There's little more empowering than standing in your pants and bras in a draughty Days Inn hoping to get a call back which will invite you to stand in your bra and pants in an air-conditioned Holiday Inn for programme two. The self-discovery and personal transformation, of course, will be in the hands of the male viewers, although the transformation can be covered with a giant pillow if your Mum walks in on you with a cup of tea shortly after the self-discovery.

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