KEVIN FEDERLINE DUMPS THE SHARK

If there's one thing Buddy Canyouspareadime loves more than himself, it's his sharks. But now, it seems, Britney has given Kevin an ultimatum: It's me, or the sharks.

We're not going to pretend that Kevin drew up a list of positives and negatives of both his wife and the sharks, but we do imagine he first pictured having sex with his fishy-like friends, and found it wanting; then he asked them if they'd be prepared to underwrite his humorous career as a Vanilla Ice impersonator.

So the sharks are going. But at least Britney says that Kevin can hang onto his tiddler, which might be all the fun he gets these days.

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