Saturday, August 19, 2006


In what we're certain is in no way a load of bollocks designed to try and raise both interest and sympathy, apparently Guy Ritchie is seriously worried over threats to kidnap Madonna by the Russian mafia.

We're not sure why Guy would be so frightened - aren't you a geezer yerself, Guy? Can't you just scare 'em off with all those hardman contacts you've got in the British underworld? Or does it turn out your underworld friends number a bloke who once stole a magic marker from Rymans and the woman who once organised an unlicensed Lotto syndicate?

But who are these people targetting Madonna?

The Queen Of Pop is being targeted by ruthless heavies who don’t want her controversial Confessions Tour to go ahead in Moscow next month.

The mafia are going to kidnap her not to extort cash, but to stop the concert going ahead? Why would the mafia do that, unless perhaps they're promoting a rival Mariah Carey gig across town? Where, as they say, is the percentage?

Victoria Newton is proud that Madonna is going to face down these fears:

I’m glad Madonna is determined to play in Russia.

She has never performed there before and her fans in Moscow shouldn’t miss out because of a few headcases.

... and, let's face, if the price of stuffing her pockets with roubles is having Madonna missing for a few months chained to a radiator in the basement of an abandoned warehouse round the back of St Basils, then we're all winners in a way, aren't we?

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