MILLS MAKES A MOVIE

We were interested in this little quote from the Sun's podcast:

"He's afraid that his phones are being bugged, so he's changed all the locks" - Its odd that Victoria Newton doesn't quite get how phone tapping works, what with her colleague from Wapping being up on those charges relating to the royal phone-tapping, but maybe she needs to warn Paul that you don't change the locks to stop people listening to your phone calls; only the foil hats can save you.

Meanwhile, Heather's apparent making of a video diary of the split has prompted yet another dreadful Sun headline based on their flop nickname:

You making Mucca movie?

Eh? What does that even mean.

Nobody seems to have thought that, just maybe, Heather's filming stuff because cheap cameras and cheap storeage means everyone films everything all the time now.

Meanwhile, "friends of Paul McCartney" are telling anyone who'll listen how heartbroken he is at the forthcoming legal break with his money. Sorry, with his wife:

One close pal said: "Paul has been left heartbroken by everything that has happened.

"He is not angry or bitter or full of rage. It's much, much sadder than that. He is upset, confused and lonely.

"He can't believe the way it has all turned out. As far as he is concerned, he always wanted their divorce to be conducted with dignity, diplomacy and discretion."

The Mirror stresses how keen Paul was to keep the split all civil and friendly:

But his attitude changed abruptly when the contents of a legal letter sent to Heather accusing her of taking three bottles of cleaning fluid were made public.

"That moment was a turning point for Paul," confided another friend, who has known the singer for several years.

"He became convinced that the level of detail must have come from one place - and that wasn't his own team of aides and lawyers. It dawned on him that the gloves were off."

We love the idea that Paul collapsed in sobs, feeling betrayed that his attempts to keep things nice had been thrown back in his face: "Honestly, you'd have thought she'd have been thanking me for not making a fuss about the half-box of Brillo pads she had away as well..."

More astonishingly, Fiona Cummin's piece for the paper seems to have been ghosted by Dame Sylvie Krinn:

PAUL McCartney sank back into his first-class seat on flight BA113 to New York and closed his eyes.

He sighed deeply. He had just endured one of the worst weeks of his life, leaving him emotionally battered and bruised.

His increasingly bitter divorce battle with Heather Mills had been played out in painfully public detail over the previous seven days.

Just three hours earlier, he had handed his two-year-old daughter Beatrice back into the care of her mother and was feeling horribly bereft.

Macca, who was travelling alone, contemplated his fate as the plane taxied down the runway last Tuesday.

Single again at 64 and embroiled in a scramble to protect his millions, the music legend should have been enjoying the fruits of labour instead of fighting to preserve them.

We imagine only a sub-editor stood between us and a chapter in which he removed his shirt.

music heather mills paul mccartney