TREATING MARRIAGE WITH RESPECT

The end of any marriage is a terrible thing; the crushing of hopes and dreams, disaffection where once there was affection. Sometimes children are involved, and then the heartbreak is multiplied and multiplied.

It's a sombre time.

Having said which, The Sun is giving away badges with which you can show your support for McCartney or Heather Mills. Because a divorce should be more like a football match or something.

The interesting thing is that, if you respond to show your support for Paul, you get a badge which reads "I'm with Macca". If you want to demonstrate your support for Heather, though, you get one which reads "I'm with Mucca" - which, besides not meaning anything to anyone beyond the subs' bench at the Sun means that Heather "fans" have to show their belief by wearing a badge which accepts the News International portrayal of Heather as a woman whose sexuality marks her out as some sort of slut.

Even more interesting is that there's no badge in which you can say "I hope the settlement is equitable to both sides but mostly that it's in the best interest of the two year-old child."

The failure of the "Mucca" nickname to take is shown by today's cartoon in the Sun, in which Bill Caldwell depicts the yachts of "Macca's lawyer" and "Macca's wife's lawyer".

For added value, the paper takes a fumbled poke at Heather's claims to be lonely by running photos of her on a bike ride with a couple of "pals". As if the loneliness that people feel when a relationship ends is isolation rather than that more slippery "lonely in a crowd" feeling. Perhaps someone should play them Nothing Compares 2U sometime.

But it looks like Heather might no longer be able to rely on a kindly word from The Daily Mirror, who today have run a massive interview with Dianna Karmal. Who she? Apparently the wife of Heather's first husband. So, no reason that she might have a personal axe to grind there, then.

Speaking for the first time since Heather dumped Alfie, Dianna said she wants to give her side of the story about her brother's marriage and insists there are similarities between the way he and Sir Paul have been treated.

Speaking for the first time? Presumably it was a different Dianna Karmal who appeared in that The Real Mrs McCartney documentary saying much the same stuff back in 2003, then.

And, seemingly rising to an 'anything Victoria Newton can do, I can do better', the Mirror's Louise Male sings off this reheating of old tattle with a not-entirely-fair attack:

She emerged from the offices [of her solicitors] three hours later and was driven away.

She was dumpy, had terrible hair, and was nothing like model material.

So, after three hours talking about the end of your marriage, you don't look like you've spent three hours in hair and make-up. Fascinating insight, there, Louise.

music heather mills paul mccartney