If it's the third Thursday in July, it must be time for Guy

How charmingly romantic: Madonna and Guy schedule their sex lives. They're claiming three times a week, but frankly if you were at it every other day, you wouldn't need to try and keep track of when it was going to be happening next, would you?

There's more, though:

"Madonna has also requested 'M time' each week, when she will talk to Guy about her career and he will offer advice."

We wonder if Guy floated the idea of some G time, to talk about his career. Probably not, as that'd be like ITV's old Looks Familiar programme, mired in nostalgia.

Mind you, what sort of career advice could Guy possibly give Madonna? And even if he did have an idea about the music industry, would she listen anyway? They'd be better off using the time for some more sex. Or at least working out the next week's schedule.

music madonna guy ritchie