House beautiful

Back when she was sitting on a giant beefburger in the interests of The Fall's I Am Kurious Oranj album, what odds would you have got on Brix Smith ever inviting the Daily Mail into her beautiful Shoreditch appartment?

Now married to Philip Start (he runs some clothes shops, apparently) and rebadged as Brix Smith Start, she's delighted to show the paper around her converted garment factory home.

It's a bizarre distance from The Fall days - Jamie Oliver's apparently been shot in the kitchen (sadly, only in the TV sense) and the walls are dripping with art:

A Warhol in the kitchen is a reminder of Brix's rock-star connections - she was the guitarist in Eighties cult band The Fall, and still writes music for other artists.

"It's on loan from Brian Molko, lead singer of Placebo," she says of the Warhol. "He felt that it just went with the apartment. I had to agree!"

As if the Fall somehow sits logically alongside Andy Warhol. We're not even going to start to ponder how Brian Molko came to own an original Warhol, but there's obviously more money in indie than we'd been led to believe.

The great shame of the piece is not that Brix is having a lovely life and is clearly very happy, as nobody would begrudge her that. It's just it's written in such a way as to make her sound like a simpering simpleton:

"I do tend to order a lot for me when I'm buying for the shop. But don't tell Philip," she whispers theatrically.

Unless working in the fashion retail business really does eat away at your brain, we can't believe that the mighty Brix has really turned into some sort of Sharon Osbourne figure...

"I love nothing better than sinking into a sofa with Philip and my two pugs, Gromit and Pixie, and having quiet time. Up here you feel on top of the world."

... has she?

Next week in the Mail: 'Them bottles, there's money back on them...' - Mark E Smith invites us into his beautiful house

music the fall brix smith start philip start jamie oliver shoreditch