Liam Gallagher: A handbag?

Oh, Liam must be delighted - his partner, one of the Appletons out of the All Saints, went on Radio One yesterday and started trilling away about the lovely handbag she's bought him.

Nicole suddenly realised what she'd done and called him, before telling Chris Moyles:

“He said if you slag off his man-bag he’ll put you in it.”

First: it's a handbag. It's not a manbag. Trying to pretend it's something else is like a weekend transvestite being caught by his wife trying to claim "PVC hobble skirt and fishnets? No, no, this is a bloke-smock and macholeggings. They're all the rage, even Brad Pitt wears them."

Second: if you can fit Chris Moyles in it, it's not very practical. It must be the size of a haversack.

Third: At least next time you have a fight with the maffia in a German bar, you'll have something to hit 'em with.

music nicole appleteon all saints liam gallagher oasis chris moyles