The Coldplay on

Victoria Newton has good news for people who don't like music much: Coldplay aren't going to split up at all:

HERE’S something that will put a smile on the faces of COLDPLAY fans.

I’ve discovered that, contrary to recent reports, the band have made a massive commitment to each other and are definitely in it for the long haul.

Well, thank God you're here to counter "recent reports", Victoria - whatever would we do without you, able to slap down stuff like this "recent report":

Coldplay to split up?

COLDPLAY frontman Chris Martin hinted the band could disappear from public for an extended break.

Let's hope Victoria is prepared to name and shame the person whose byline appears on that... let's see, it's one ...oh... Victoria Newton. How bizarre.

Anyway, Victoria can now slap down Victoria's nonesense because:

The four group members — CHRIS MARTIN, GUY BERRYMAN, WILL CHAMPION and JONNY BUCKLAND — have clubbed together to buy a building in Hampstead, north-west London.

They are spending a fortune converting the property into Coldplay HQ — containing studios and offices.

The rockers have entered into a legal contract which makes them joint owners of their new base, which will house all of their staff and equipment.

Right. Because nothing says "we see our future as a band" like property speculation.

music coldplay chris martin