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Robbie Williams is not as popular with the dead
No wonder Robbie Williams is fed up - even the dead are turning their backs on him, as James Blunt takes his place at the top of the funeral music charts:
1 Goodbye my Lover, James Blunt
2 Angels, Robbie Willams
3 I've had the Time of my Life, Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
4 Wind Beneath my Wings, Bette Midler
5 Pie Jesu, Requiem
6 Candle in the Wind, Elton John
7 With or Without You, U2
8 Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton
9 Every Breath you Take, The Police
10 Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
Since we don't believe that people in the dying demographics are likely to have developed any great affection for James Blunt over the last year or so of their life, the message is clear: make sure your will either has a choice of music, or at least excludes anything that sounds vaguely like a Simon Bates' Our Tune.
4 comments:
there's a big miscommunication going on between the dead and the living here (and i'm not talking any of that gobshite derek acorah's wankery).
i can see the purely hypothetical conversation now:
"so why did you pick that particular song to play?"
"it was the last song he ever heard"
"yeah, but I heard him say on several occasions that, and I quote, 'james cunt is killing music'"
"well it was what he was listening to when he... *moan*... passed on"
"yeah ehm... suicide is a nasty business."
Of course, I say hypothetical because in reality the conversation wouldn't have happened since half the people at the funeral would most likely feel obliged to kill themselves to ease the suffering of listening to Blunt. Certainly they wouldn't have far to move the body and well... why waste electricity changing the tape? let's face it. there's a pretty good explanation as to why this song is top...
Who in their right mind, living or dead, would chose 'The Time Of My Life' for a funeral?! At least the others make me want to contemplate death. But all I can think of at the prospect of Bill and Jen belting that out in church is the Vicar charging down the Vestry to do The Lift with one of the Women's Institute. Next to the font.
Still if your relatives did play that, you certainly wouldn't look back, would you? Fuck waiting for Charon to turn up with his ferry to cross the River Styx, I'm swimming.
(Apologies for the phantom post. It appears I temporarily lost the ability to write in English)
'Every Breath You Take' is a song about stalking. What other weird, antisocial activities would you like to be commemorated at your funeral? Frotting? Flashing? Being Sting?
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