Dion, month off

Terrible news for anyone who had been hoping to pick up a terrible disease from Celine Dion (that is the only reason anyone goes to see her show, right?): her Las Vegas show has been put on hold until December 28th because she's being treated for Mycoplasma bronchitis, a contagious bacterial infection.

Music fans who had tickets for her shows said they weren't too upset, as they actually would have preferred to put hot chestnuts down their knickers and run through a room full of hungry squirrels than see the show anyway, although some Celine superfans expressed disappointment that the cancellation was going to prevent them from attempting to collect mycoplasma bronchitis spores from the air around Celine's head. "We believe they may be imbued with magical healing properties" said one, "or at least fetch a few bucks on eBay."

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