Mary J Billboard

Suggesting either a terrible lack of imagination, or else that Mary J Blige is some sort of superhuman performer, Mary J Blige has won nine prizes at the Billboard awards.

Nine.

Including Hip-hop artist of the year, female hip-hop artist of the year (no, we don't know why they have an all-genders and a gender-specific prize), hip-hop album of the year for The Breakthrough and Hot 100 airplay track of the year.

Blige was delighted with her haul:

"I've never received this many awards at any time in my career, ever. I remember a time when all my fans were crying and sad and going through hell. Now, we're trying to uplift each other and accept ourselves for who we are, even if nobody else does."

All your fans went through hell simultaneously? Are you confusing yourself with something else there, like a sign of the zodiac?

Rhianna also did well: female artist of the year, female Hot 100 artist of the year and Pop 100 artist of the year. "Aren't two of these prizes, like, identical?" she wasn't heard to say.

Tony Bennett was given the "Billboard Century" prize, which is somewhere between lifetime achievement and "we'll come and see you Sunday and play some Scrabble with you..."

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