Ping pong/ding dong

Oddly, despite yesterday's fairly blunt dismissal of his claims, Donny Tourette is in this morning's Sun to tell of his tales tupping the wife of Leo Sayer:

We were always getting invited around there for drinks and stuff. Leo had a ping pong table we enjoyed playing on from time to time. It was obvious there was a bit of attraction between his missus and me, and one thing led to the other.

“One time my brother Dirk was playing Leo at a game of table tennis when I was upstairs in the bedroom giving his lady a seeing to.

“She was enjoying it so much she started suddenly screaming out in pleasure.

“My brother says it was so loud Leo completely missed his shot and just gave him this sort of quizzical look. I think it was a pretty vital point in the game as well. They just continued playing afterwards as if nothing had happened.”

Oddly, this richly-detailed memoir is described as being sourced by Tourette "speaking to a pal" - surely this isn't some convoluted form of words trying to make it look less like a self-proclaimed punk has flogged a shabby story to The Sun, has it?

Still, you can pay your own money and make your own choice. Donny reckons there was lots of sex, including screams so loud it put Leo off his table-tennis. Donatella, however, suggests a single instance of sharing a bed with an irritating twonk and falling asleep before anything happened. Which story sounds more plausible?

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