Madonna recalibrates her cameos

Okay, we could see the reasoning behind Madonna guesting in Will And Grace - the sort of series that she could easily confuse with inventive, but... Nip/Tuck?

The Sun's Pete Samson, though, says it's going to happen:

MADONNA is set to strip NAKED in raunchy TV series Nip/Tuck — for a romp with a hunky doc.

The Queen of Pop will prove she still has it at 48 by showing all in the US show about sex-mad plastic surgeons.

Then, The Sun's Pete Samson admits that, actually, the naked scene might not happen. And it's not even clear she'll "romp" or even kiss a hunky doctor - or even one of the Palitoy-moulded blank-stare faces who feature in the show's cast. And that she might not even accepted a guest role yet:

A show source said: “Everybody ends up taking their clothes off and usually having sex with JULIAN McMAHON’s character Dr Christian Troy.

“Madonna has the body of a woman half her age and is bound to be in a nude scene.

“She knew that when she agreed to do the show in the first place.”

Nip/Tuck creator RYAN MURPHY is writing a part for the singer and wants her to appear with ROSIE O’DONNELL, her co-star in 1992 baseball movie A League Of Their Own.

So, Pete, your opening sentence, honestly, should have read:

MADONNA is in talks about appearing in a part which hasn't yet been finalised for a television show in which some characters remove some of their clothes sometimes.

Added to which, this is American network television, which - even before Janet Jackson at the Superbowl - is a bit nervous about people "showing it all" - nudity on Nip/Tuck tends to be of the shot from behind, shoulders upwards sort.