Saturday, April 07, 2007

Britney needs Andrew Winter

This week we're in Malibu, with Britney. Britney's a newly single Mum, and keen to sell her Malibu mansion in order to downsize and settle some sizeable medical bills. But the house has been on the market since January, and even a cut in price of a million pounds, to six million, has failed to interest any serious buyers. I went to take a look...

- Britney, the first thing that strikes me as I come through the door is that you've got a great welcoming space here, but that's lost as there's what I can only describe as a stench. What is that smell?

- It's the bitter reek of disappointment, Andrew

- That really is the sort of thing that puts buyers off straight away. And does it go right through the house?

- No, not the whole house.

- But there are smell problems elsewhere?

- Yes, the living rooms have the whiff of failure, and I've been trying to get rid of the fog of desperation from the kitchen.

- And how have you been doing that?

- I tried burning some sage.

- That's really not going to do it. Modern buyers are finely attuned to what they want, and if a house is clouded with the death of hope, it's going to to take more than some herbs to put it right...


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