Thursday, April 05, 2007

The dark eyes of addicition

In passing in this morning's Bizarre column, Victoria Newton has a horrific revelation:

KATE MOSS has a new addiction following her cocaine shame – pork scratchings.

An addiction to Mr. Porky's product? How does this addiction manifest itself? Do farmers wake to find her in the piggery with a cigarette lighter and a tub of salt?

Erm... no:
The model was spotted scoffing a bag of fried pig skin with her drink at a pub in Devon.

So, now we need to recalibrate. Eating one bag of = addicted to.


karlt said...

And here's another living monument to cuntery: Victoria sodding Newton. You have to wonder, how does she live with herself? Does she avoid her own gaze in the mittor when cleaning her teeth? I.... I... *goes for a lie down*.

Mike said...

Her priorities in life are messed up.

We should organise an XRRF trip to Wapping to confront the beast in person.

simon h b said...

What if she turns out to be a small man behind a curtain with a loudspeaker?

James said...

If she turns out to be a small man behind a curtain with a loudspeaker, I'd probably be more willing to shag her.

Post a Comment

As a general rule, posts will only be deleted if they reek of spam.