Thursday, April 05, 2007

The dark eyes of addicition

In passing in this morning's Bizarre column, Victoria Newton has a horrific revelation:

KATE MOSS has a new addiction following her cocaine shame – pork scratchings.

An addiction to Mr. Porky's product? How does this addiction manifest itself? Do farmers wake to find her in the piggery with a cigarette lighter and a tub of salt?

Erm... no:
The model was spotted scoffing a bag of fried pig skin with her drink at a pub in Devon.

So, now we need to recalibrate. Eating one bag of = addicted to.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

And here's another living monument to cuntery: Victoria sodding Newton. You have to wonder, how does she live with herself? Does she avoid her own gaze in the mittor when cleaning her teeth? I.... I... *goes for a lie down*.

Unknown said...

Her priorities in life are messed up.

We should organise an XRRF trip to Wapping to confront the beast in person.

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

What if she turns out to be a small man behind a curtain with a loudspeaker?

James said...

If she turns out to be a small man behind a curtain with a loudspeaker, I'd probably be more willing to shag her.

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