Now, let's see: Tweedy's turn, is it? Or Allen?

It's actually Lily Allen to throw next in the world's most stultifying argument - nobody outside Britain know who the combatants are, and precious few inside care enough about either to take a side. For the record:

"I'm just an artist trying to write and sing songs, and get on with my life, and she's attacking me for the way I look! Thank you very much for that."

Yes, how dare Cheryl Tweedy have an opinion on how you look - it's not like you've signed a deal with a high street chain to flog clothes that are based on your look, is it?

Oh.

Then Lily responds to Tweedy's 'you don't play big venues like me' jibe:

““I played twice at Wembley Arena last year and I'm playing Wembley Stadium in a couple of months.”

Um... yes, as part of the Princess Diana tribute, though, isn't it? Which actually makes Allen's other pop at Tweedy a bit misjudged:

“All she does is sing songs that aren't hers and do some sexy dance moves, and marry someone rich.”

Wasn't marrying someone rich what Di was famous for?

Still, like Andrew who has so many better things to do than read this blog, Lily has decided this is all a waste of time:

"If she comes out and slags me off again I'm not going to retaliate. I haven't got time," she says.

Which we make Tweedy winning by default.