The sound of clothing

While Britain waits (or at least pretends to) for Lily Allen "inspired" clothes to go on sale, who knew there was something more annoying than clothes supposedly inspired by music?

How about music inspired by clothes?

Yes, that's what we meant: All American Rejects bloke Tyson Ritter is set to debut a side project, The Gnomans, which is a band inspired by a t-shirt line.

“This whole thing really hasn’t been thought through,” Ritter says. “If I wanted to make money, I definitely would be approaching it differently.” So, after a burlesque show (“We’re not talking Ping-Pong balls getting shot out of orifices”), the Gnomans will play while Asian girls parade out in the T-shirts. If all goes well, says Ritter, “the whole thing’s gonna be like the best sex ever—two and a half minutes and then you can go have a sandwich.”

Let's leave aside the hanging question about how brief Ritter thinks good sex last. Let's also not even wonder why "Asian girls" or ask if that shades from "positive discrimination" into "patronising racist wank". Let's not even wonder if having a project, never mind a side project, might be overstretching Ritter's talents a little. In fact, let's pretend this isn't happening.

It's all better now, isn't it?