Friday, May 04, 2007

Spice Girls to reform. Reports The Sun. Again.

Hold the front page! Or at least a space on page nineteen amongst the 'are you in debt' adverts. Victoria Newton reports they're coming back:

MEL B has jetted into London from LA for a meeting with her fellow former SPICE GIRLS to discuss a reunion gig.

The Artist Formerly Known As Scary had told pals she was making the trip to wish DAVID BECKHAM a happy 32nd birthday at his celebration do.

But I can reveal her two-day visit was actually to talk about the girls staging a Las Vegas-style show.

Mel, EMMA BUNTON, GERI HALLIWELL, VICTORIA BECKHAM and MELANIE CHISHOLM have each been offered £1million to do the one-off at Christmas at a venue yet to be decided.

We're not exactly sure what Newton means by a "Las vegas style show" - people will shuffle off bored halfway through to go and play fruit machines? Like Celine Dion's it will be a thousand nights' residency? Will Mel B be mauled by a tiger onstage?

Of course, this is in no way like Victoria's story from the last time Mel B jetted in to the UK:
MEL B arrived at the Spice Girls’ reunion dinner with a detailed comeback plan for the group.

But, of course, those plans came to nothing:
Until now each has rejected the deal, largely because Mel C has been against the idea of any kind of reunion.

So, Mel C has changed her mind, has she?

Erm, no:
Now it is very much on the cards — with only Mel C still to sign up.

Victoria explains Mel C's absence from David Beckham's party as being because she "was busy filming a pop video", which, if it was what she said when she RSVPed is brilliant, because it's such a lame lie, but one which underlines that unlike the others, she's still making records.

Of course, you might want to argue that today's Bizarre report of the reunion is merely the same reunion that was being discussed in February, and so Newton was right, the negotiations are just taking a long time.

Except, of course, it's not: today, we're promised a "one-off Las Vegas style gig"; in February, it was "a well-publicised tour of arenas around Britain". (Yes, apparently in February part of the secret plan was to actually tell people the gigs were taking place.)

Presumably, Newton is assuming there will be a Spice Girls reunion sooner or later, and is hedging by reporting every time Emma Bunton and Geri Halliwell come within sixty yards of each other as being "negotiations for a reunion" so that when it does happen, she can claim "I told you first". Hoping that people forget every other time she told us first, and told us wrong.


3 comments:

Unknown said...

Las Vegas-style as in overweight old and irrelevent?

Maybe they're saving the comeback for the 'oh so ironic' Glastonbury tea-time slot.

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

"Dear The Spice Girls,

Thanks for trying to get a slot at this year's Glastonbury. I'm sorry you've been unlucky on this occasion. Have you considered the second stage at Latitude, a smaller festival we're also involved in..."

Anonymous said...

if you would like 2 VIP tickets to see the Spice Girls performing live in concert at the 02 Arena, London, on the 15th December 2007, then all you have to do is sign up and play one game of Online Bingo between the 19th and 25th November. You don't even have to win to grab the tickets so what are you waiting for? Eyes down please!!!

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