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Victoria Newton went to the cupboard...
... and when she got there the cupboard was bare, so she just ran a bunch of photos. This means today's Bizarre consists of man wears hat in new video, couple wear similar trousers and man looks at pregnant girlfriend.
The hat story is brilliant, as it's Simon Webbe, so not only does nobody actually care, but because he's wearing a hat, Newton is apparently confused:
Is hat you, Mr Webbe?
Yes. Yes, it is him. Only wearing a hat.
To be fair to Newton, she has managed to drag a story out of reading another gossip column about Lindsay Lohan:
Wildchild Lindsay on 'heroin'
An arresting headline, but actually, her Dad said "hillbilly heroin", which is quite a different proposition and does make Newton's choice of headline somewhat dishonest (a bit like if someone said "You're a shit journalist" and the headline was "Newton is a 'journalist'").
4 comments:
My favourite bit is from the Doherty piece (emphasis Newton's)
They kissed, cuddled, drunk sangria and even ATE paella at a beach restaurant earlier this week. Pete also
My god! They ATE paella? Actually ATE it? The madcap antics these celebs get up to!
But thats not any old hat. Its a "Matrix-style top hat".... Think about it....
There is no hat.
The Sun-reader comments below the Noel Gallagher story are great.
"i hope they have a boy then 1 of liams kids can join up with noels kid and keep the gallagher greatness going, i love oasis i hope everything goes right for noely he deserves it guys a legend!"
Copied-and-pasted here because I suspect Vicky will soon read it, realise that 'Noel Hopes For Oasis: The Next Generation' is good enough for tomorrow's Exclusive and have the original comment deleted before anyone else pinches her source.
Any thoughts on the headline she'll use? Going on recent form, 'Noel Wants a Son-derwall' probably isn't out of the question.
I think she is leading the way for us into the bright future of printed media. That's right... in the future newspapers will contain nothing but photos with funny captions.
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