Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet - Boybands

Jude Rogers talks to five singing hatstands from various boybands, including one of East 17, The Jonas Brothers. Oh, and Simon Webbe:

I don't think an all-black boyband like JLS would have been signed in the days when we were starting out. The X Factor's great in that way: it shows the record companies what people really want – especially as most labels are run by old guys who have no idea what's going on in clubs or on the streets.

Simon Webbe saves the day

Somehow, it doesn't surprise us that Lee Ryan is the sort of person who needs to be saved from being hit by a bus.

But what on earth is Simon Webbe thinking of? Spending his time saving Lee Ryan when there are ELEPHANTS DYING? God, Ryan is going to be so angry.

Blue anew

Sky's Showbiz website is suggesting that news of Blue reforming is like Marmite, in that some people will love it, and others will hate it. They don't actually suggest anyone who's going to like the news, though - perhaps members of 2wo Third3 might be a little cheered at the prospect that seemingly anyone can get the comeback call these days.

It's not known how Lee Ryan, Duncan James, was there one called Timmy or Tony?, and the other bloke or maybe two other blokes will find time in their busy solo careers to play dates together.

"Hey, it's not a hand carwash I'm working at here", said Anthony Costas, "any guy can take the money and press the button. Providing I make the time back up later, of course."

Duncan James - who, literally, ceased to exist in this dimension the moment Blue split - said he's looking forward to being corporeal again, if only for a couple of weeks. "I just hope I can remember the tricks... were we conjurers? We were, right?"

Simon Webbe - who spent time since the band split appearing as a comedy character in the 3AM Girls column before being moved downwards to a recurring role in the Andy Capp cartoon - is also keen to get out on the road again. "I've heard Bridlington is brilliant in the summer, and I'm sure a smaller town nearby in the middle of autumn will be just as good when we play there."

Lee Ryan was unavailable for comment, but we'll try and grab a word when he pops in to fill his bucket and ring out his chamois.

Darkness at 3AM: Mika at risk

Worrying news from the Mirror:

[Mika] has been forced to step up security after receiving some dodgy death threats from over-zealous fans.

Yes, it's worrying. Mika still has fans? Surely his career has gone off for a bit of a sit-down with the Scissor Sisters and The Darkness, hasn't it?

We know about this because Mika is assuring us that earth weapons cannot harm him:

"I'm absolutely fine - don't worry about me - I'm not scared."

That's good. We can all sleep a little more safely now, then. Although increasing security would suggest you're a little scared, wouldn't it?

Meanwhile, 3AM's obsession with treating former members of Blue like they're actually part of the pop world continues. Simon Webbe is preparing a third album by, erm, not eating individual fruit pies:

"It's all about the Mr Kiplings for me. They rock my world. But I've got to give them up."

Man stops eating fruit pies prior to promoing unwanted third album. Hold that front page.

Simon Webbe: "Did I mention I was rock?"

The 3AM Girls are all a twitter this morning as Simon Webbe re-emerges:

When we caught up with the former Blue boy at the I Am Legend premiere after-party, he hinted at a bold new musical direction.

Ah, it's nice to hear he picked up a small waiting job at a film party to keep going just before Christmas, isn't it?

Anyway... tell us more about this bold musical direction, then:

"I'm going to be taking a few more risks," teased Simon, 28, before naming Foo Fighters, The Enemy and Arctic Monkeys as his fave bands.

How funny - Webbe's been on the music scene for six years, making solo records for nearly half of that, and yet all of a sudden we discover that he doesn't even like the stuff he's been producing. (In common, it's fair to say, with the rest of the record-buying public.)

Still, it's true that it's going to be something of a risk for him to suddenly try and reinvent himself as Dave Grohl - it's an aspiration on a par with a vol-au-vent hoping to turn itself into a steak and kidney pudding.

Unwanted returns: Blue

Having discovered that, individually, nobody is that interested in them, Blue are hoping that getting Blue back together might allow them to make some ready cash in time for Christmas.

No word on what they're planning to do, but we'd suggest they look at trying the hand carwash business.

Security... SECURITY

Lee Ryan is so desperate to try and find some sort of limelight, he's now taken to hiding in the crowd at Simon Webbe gigs and jumping on stage for a singalong.

Simon Webbe is looking at doubling stagefront security.

Victoria Newton went to the cupboard...

... and when she got there the cupboard was bare, so she just ran a bunch of photos. This means today's Bizarre consists of man wears hat in new video, couple wear similar trousers and man looks at pregnant girlfriend.

The hat story is brilliant, as it's Simon Webbe, so not only does nobody actually care, but because he's wearing a hat, Newton is apparently confused:

Is hat you, Mr Webbe?

Yes. Yes, it is him. Only wearing a hat.

To be fair to Newton, she has managed to drag a story out of reading another gossip column about Lindsay Lohan:

Wildchild Lindsay on 'heroin'

An arresting headline, but actually, her Dad said "hillbilly heroin", which is quite a different proposition and does make Newton's choice of headline somewhat dishonest (a bit like if someone said "You're a shit journalist" and the headline was "Newton is a 'journalist'").

Something almost interesting happens on Simon Webbe tour

Simon Webbe - he used to be in Blue, of course - was involved in a slightly interesting incident during his Nottingham gig on Monday, when he banged his head on a light.

He wasn't hurt, but eyewitnesses (of whome there weren't that many) said he was slightly dazed for a couple of moments.

We hope Victoria Newton keeps us up-to-date if anything else nearly happens on the tour - perhaps he'll nearly cut his finger on a penknife, or be in the proximity of the sort of cereal that it could be possible to choke on if you don't watch out.

One day you'll be older, too

Help the aged, instructed Jarvis Cocker, and while we usually take the piss out of Simon Webbe, we were pleased to see him following Jarvo's advice and taking time to visit a care home in East Anglia. Especially since nobody does pomposity-puncturing quotage like older people:

Resident Betty Totham said: “I hadn't heard of him before as I don't go in for these pop stars. But he was very nice and posed for a photograph with me. It was a really nice surprise.”

Although how much of surprise is debatable - if you don't know who he is and don't care for popstars, isn't a visit by a bloke who used to be in Blue effectively no different from having a chat with the windowcleaner?