Showing posts with label the jonas brothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the jonas brothers. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Jonas Brothers: They split

The most striking thing about the Jonas Brothers split is the video of the Jonases: looking for all the world like junior chief executives, the question was surely how they'd managed to keep things together for so long.

They didn't look like a band who had creative differences with each other; they looked like a group of people who had differences with the very idea of being creative.

It wasn't the end of a pop group; it was the release of three trapped people back into the community.

Let's wish them well.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Joe Jonas: That's not a knife

If the arrest of Willie Nelson with dope is a bit too expected, how about the discovery that Joe Jonas was trying to slip knives through airport security?

Yes, you'd have thought that he'd done enough damage to our way of life by being in the Jonas Brothers, but... no, he's sneaking weapons through Abu Dhabi airport security with shivs.

I say shiv, but... well...

The Jonas Brothers singer and actor was stopped with Ashley Greene, his "Twilight" star girlfriend, when he cluelessly tried to go through security with cheese-cutting knives in a carry-on bag.
Next week: Barry Jonas detained at ORD with three fish knives and one of those wooden honey things.


Monday, October 11, 2010

Apparently without John Lennon, there'd have been no Jonas Brothers

In a bid to try and squeeze some publicity and misbegotten credibility out of his birthday, the Jonas Brothers recorded a tribute to the dead Beatle:

Sitting together on a couch, NIck Jonas offers a concise tribute to Lennon's influence on them.

"We grew up listening to the Beatles in our home, John Lennon specifically. And his words, and his lyrics, and his music spoke to many generations of people and continue to," brother Nick said.
Yes, when you listen to Video Girl you can really hear the influence of The Plastic Ono band on the Jonas Brothers.
"It's his birthday, 70th birthday, so happy birthday, John. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the music. And thanks for showing the world that it's time to come together and live in peace. You're the man."
Yes, thanks for that, John. Imagine if you'd not pointed out that war was bad. We would never have noticed.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Gordon in the morning: Five years old

The Jonas Brothers inviting the Beckham kids to appear in a pop video sets Gordon Smart dreaming of the future:

And it could definitely be the start of something very profitable - not that the family need the dosh.

The God-fearing Jonas Brothers - who all famously vowed to stay off sex before marriage - are very wealthy young men. They've sold more than eight million albums since finding fame in 2005.

If the Beckham boys grow up to follow in their footsteps they could earn their own fortunes.

But they might not be so keen on vowing to remain virgins...

You know, for a moment there I could have sworn that Gordon was speculating on the future sex life of three kids, the youngest of whom is five years old. But that would be so inappropriate it would never have found its way into a family newspaper, would it?


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet - Boybands

Jude Rogers talks to five singing hatstands from various boybands, including one of East 17, The Jonas Brothers. Oh, and Simon Webbe:

I don't think an all-black boyband like JLS would have been signed in the days when we were starting out. The X Factor's great in that way: it shows the record companies what people really want – especially as most labels are run by old guys who have no idea what's going on in clubs or on the streets.


Thursday, July 02, 2009

One of the Jonas Brothers engaged, it says here

Haircut Jonas, the most eyebrowed of The Jonas Brothers, has arranged to appear in a special souvenir edition of Us Weekly.

Haircut told reporters "It's going to be hard deciding if my brother SlightlyWacky Jonas or my other brother Booklearning Jonas will get to stand on my left in the photos. I figure the one who doesn't stand on my left could stand on the other side... the... uh... unleft side."

Haircut has been dating his fiancee since a Disney executive told him "we want to stop those 'Haircut is gay' rumours before they start".

It's hoped that Haircut Jonas' godfather, restaurateur Chuck E. Chesse, will be present at the ceremony.


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Jonas Brothers get ready to tour

MTV News has the headlines:

Jonas Brothers Say Tour Will Be Different From 3-D Movie

Which I'm taking to be a warning to fans not to expect quite as many dimensions as you might get in a 3D cinema.

The Brothers are thrilling themselves inside-out at the prospect of going and miming to some songs for a little while in a room where nobody can hear them above the screams:
"This is something brand-new," Kevin Jonas promised Wednesday (March 18). "We've never embarked on an in-the-round tour. The new songs on the new record are very exciting for us. For us, for all the opportunities we get, we're astonished every day. To be able to visit so many people ourselves will be very great."

"Yes" agreed another Brother, possibly Tim or Calum Jonas: "It's very great to visit so many people on the stage from where we be on the... um... maybe we should stick to getting the boss to write those words for us to be... saying... outwards?"


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Jonas Brothers get in touch with their inner inner-city alienation

There's something sweet, just in itself, of the Jonas Brothers talking about what their next album will sound like, for all the world as if they have a say in it. It's like a sofa holding forth about what cushions might be scattered upon it.

Nevertheless, they have been sharing about what to expect. They really have:

"There's a song we wrote recently and we were thinking ... it does sound different and kind of strange, and [we'd like to work with] a rapper who has some real meaningful lyrics," Nick, the self-proclaimed "most hip-hop" Jonas, told MTV News. "[Someone who] has some real depth to what he's saying — someone like a Common or a Lupe Fiasco or a Mos Def. Someone who takes a more of a spoken-word approach. That'd be really cool."

Nick, while the idea of taking "more of a spoken-word approach", perhaps you should accept your market might be more Sparky's Magic Piano than Theme Music To A Drive-By.

Still, just because they appear to be unfamiliar the word "rap", why shouldn't they perform the final act of desecration upon the badly defiled corpse of hip-hop. They're street. I bet they had a bum education - right boys?
"The next album ... we've been in production for it. We're taking our time with it — we've been taking our time with it since the beginning of this television show," Joe said. "We started recording on our summer tour last year. ... I would say we have eight or nine songs completed that we're still tweaking here and there."

"It's more like five or six," Nick corrected.

Having trouble counting above five? What more evidence of going to a sink school in a bad place could you ask for?

Still, they've got a good grasp on basic biology:
Joe — who joked that the guys have somewhere between five and 20 songs recorded — added, "We're really proud of it. It's a good step for who we are as musicians. As we get older, so does our music."

I think it was Vibe magazine which first alleged that The Jonas Brothers had a portrait of their music in their manager's attic which got older while their tunes, mysteriously, became younger, but Joe's kicked that rumour into the long grass.

So, tell us, Joe: how does this new, maturer sound manifest itself? A more cynical lyric? A call for social justice, or just a world-weary beat?
"There's a lot more horns and it's really fun."

Yes, the mature sound of parping horns. Admittedly, the Jonas Brothers are not the first to try this approach. But, Joe, with these superfun horns, are you sure the audience will come with you?
"I think people are going to be able to jam out to it in their cars or their mom's cars or their boom boxes."

Oh yes. The audience will come with you. Providing their moms are able to drive them to wherever you're going, and it'll be over by nine if it's a school night.


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Russell Brand manages to boost US teen pregnancy rate

As part of his shtick at the MTV VMAs this weekend, Russell Brand launched a squawking mock-bomb on the Jonas Brothers and their much-touted silver rings.

The abstinence people, though, are putting a brave face on it, claiming it's good news for them:

"I've received a good amount of feedback," said Jason Burtt, national director of Silver Ring Thing, a program that asks teens to pledge to remain virgins until marriage. "Nothing negative, but mostly positive support from all over the country from people interested in the program."

Of course, the Silver Ring people have more than enough negativity to cope with - what with how virginity pledges don't work - but still, it's nice the hear they're building on Brand's jokes as a way of spreading their failing message a little wider.

It's interesting that MTV News runs a largely uncritical piece - almost as if the parent company is desperate to balance out Brand's comments by bending over backwards. There is, at the very end, a mention of the negative studies into the idea, but downplayed:
A number of studies have shown that teens who take purity pledges tend to delay becoming sexually active for about 18 months longer than teens who don't, but that when they do become active, they are more likely to have unprotected or risky sex, though [Silver Ring Thing founder Denny] Pattyn said he does not support those findings.

It's not clear why a vague attempt to balance the story is then wiped out by quoting someone whose career depends on the Teen Abstinence industry. it's like running a piece saying how great turkey is, and then taking the one negative comment about turkey and adding that Bernard Matthews takes issue with the point.

Indeed, Pattyn has trouble with the idea that anything is a negative for his campaign:
"This is a big, big to-do," Pattyn said of the flap in his community over the Jonas Brothers/ Brand issue. "It's fantastic for an organization like ours, and we think this will open up some major things." Pattyn said he gave Meghan McCain one of his group's rings to give to Governor Palin for her daughter "to let her know we're supporting her and praying for her."

You might think that it might be a little late to be sending Bristol Palin a ring to mark her abstinence - and, indeed, coming from a home whose mother is committed to replacing sex education with abstinence "education", might prove a salutary example of just how it might not work to not mention the condoms at all.

Pattyn is using the extra attention Brand's gag has given his organisation to try and get access to Sarah Palin - something of an open door. If the election goes the wrong way, Russell Brand might have played a part in condemning a whole slew of young American girls into not getting proper sex education. Well done, Russell.


Monday, July 21, 2008

Disney's cold-eyed machine opened

The Baltimore Sun peers deeply into the heart of the Disney pop machine as the fickle twelve year-old Miley Cyrus fans start to tire of Hannah Montana - Old Lady:

"I'm pretty sure her voice has changed," says Kathleen Boidy, 12, of Glen Burnie, "because in some of her concerts she sounded really bad. The Jonas Brothers - all of their songs are really big."

Raven Symone - who is now in the "trying to build an adult career but appearing in College Road Trip so that's probably not going that well, then" stage of her career - offers advice to the meat in the business plans:
Symone, whose personal worth is estimated to be close to $50 million, offers sage advice to her younger peers: "Make sure you're professional and make sure you understand that it's a business."

Almost as an afterthought, she adds. "Have fun and enjoy your life."

As an afterthought.

Happy childhood, kids. TMZ will see you in a decade.