GaGa? More like MehMeh, says Lefsetz

Bob Lefsetz has an interesting take on the smidge-over-a-million that GaGa sold:

Yes, by conventional SoundScan standards a tick over a million copies in a week is a significant sum.

But is there anybody in the U.S. who did not know GaGa had a new album out? Was there a problem finding a place to buy it?

What we’ve learned here is most people just don’t care. They don’t want GaGa at any price.

He reckons the problem is that there's no longer a mainstream; that once GaGa had sold to her sizeable fanbase, there isn't anyone who is that bothered.

Oh, the mainstream media tells us Lady GaGa is a superstar. But she’s not, not by the standards of yore. How many people actually went to her show? How many people have purchased her music? If she were a network TV show, they’d cancel her. And network TV shows have a fraction of the audience they once had. Three networks used to have 90% of the audience. Now four and a half networks have less than 30%. The rest is made up of endless cable channels, endless niches. Many of them quite profitable, in some cases more profitable than the networks, because costs are watched and a premium is charged for their audience.

In other words, maybe you can’t afford to spend so much making your album. And if you’ve got hard core fans you can get a lot of money from them. That’s the game.

There's a thread missing from his argument, though - that a lot of people who lap up Lady GaGa don't react to her as a musician. Lady GaGa is the Sarah Palin of politics - a lot of people will come and look, and enjoy the sideshow, and either enjoy the meat dresses and moose shoots, or enjoy not liking them; but the fascination is one of watching a sideshow. Enjoying reading about GaGa wearing a hat made of seashells doesn't mean you're going to buy her record, any more than those people who enjoy Palin's disruption of Republican politics would actually want her to be signing the budget off in the White House.

Sarah Palin meets LL Cool J in the past

This had the air of something that might have been an April Fool, but it appears to be genuine - rather than actually interview people for her Fox News Show, Sarah Palin is merely lobbing in old versions of other people's interviews.

Not in a Wogan Now And Then way. Simply using old stuff, and pretending it's new.

Toby Keith's in it, for example:

Elaine Schock, his publicist, said a radio reporter contacted her seeking details about the programme.

"I said, 'You're wrong. There is no Sarah Palin special with Toby Keith on it on Fox,"' she said.

She said the reporter then e-mailed her the press release issued by Fox News, which said Keith would "explain the inspiration behind his song 'Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue."' Ms Schock said she believed the interview was conducted in January 2009 in Las Vegas but she had received no e-mail or phone call from Fox News informing her it would air on Mrs Palin's show this week.

LL Cool J is also suprised to find himself in it:

The LL Cool J interview was from 2008, his spokesman said.

"Contrary to what was reported, LL Cool J was never scheduled to be a guest on 'Real American Stories' with Sarah Palin this week," spokesman Rhett Usry said.. "The show had planned to use an interview from 2008 that was being repurposed without LL's permission.

"This statement is not a reflection of any feelings LL has toward Fox News or Ms. Palin, whom he has never met, rather a clarification of what we have seen published in the media."

There's no problem with making a programme up out of old interviews. Trying to pass old stuff as if it was all-new and specially made, though: that's dodgy.

Could there be a final irony?

Oh, yes. The programme is called Real American Stories.

[via @culturalsnow]

Oasis get XFM into trouble

It's a bumper Christmas special sized Ofcom complaints bulletin this month, kicking off with TalkSport's £20,000 fine for James Whale endorsing Boris Johnson for London mayor. It would have been more but Ofcom were worried that a larger fine might make it difficult for TalkSport to make the kind of programmes its known for - which, you might think, would be reason alone to fine at least into six figures.

Then, XFM gets rapped after its Scottish service broadcast a live Oasis gig at 8pm:

On reviewing a recording of the material provided by GCap Media Ltd. (“GCap”), which controls and provides compliance for the station, Ofcom noted that the programme contained the word “cunt”, as well as several instances of the word “fucking”.

XFM apologised and has bollocked the producer responsible, but did try a half-hearted defence:

GCap asked Ofcom to note, however, that listeners to Xfm Scotland expected edgier content and that very few children would be listening to the station at that time.

Why would someone seeking "edgy" content be listening to an Oasis gig?

More trouble for Global over at soon-to-be-sister station Heart, which got carried away promoting Mama Mia! The Musical at the same time as taking sponsorship money from the filmmakers:

Heart said that it is a music and entertainment station primarily targeted at women in their thirties and that it aims to provide them with interesting and relevant lifestyle features. The broadcaster believed that the launch of ‘Mamma Mia! The Movie’ was “a massive showbiz event which presented an outstanding opportunity to engage with the lives and lifestyles of [Heart’s] target audience.” It added that not only was it editorially justified for Heart to have provided extensive coverage of the event, but its audience would have expected it.

Good lord - if you were running a radio station during a commercial downturn, would you really want to portray your target market as a bunch of people whose week would be wrecked if they didn't keep getting reminded about Meryl Streep lipsynching to Super Trooper?

Ofcom asked them to tone it down in future:

In conclusion, Ofcom accepts that there was some editorial justification for references to ‘Mama Mia! The Movie’ in Heart’s programming during this period. However, in this case, the sheer volume, nature and tone of references resulted in the references appearing to be contrived and in some places, gratuitous. This resulted in the station giving undue prominence to the film and also promoting it as a product. Ofcom considered that the station output went beyond informing listeners about the recent release of a film that was likely to interest them. This resulted in breaches of the Code.

I'm not sure what the sanction will be - possibly every member of the audience has to be given a bottle of Lambrini or something.

6Music's Nemone came to grief during an interview with Doug Stanhope, who called two of Sarah Palin's children "retards":

Doug Stanhope: [Ms Palin] is a 44 year-old mother of five, two of which are retarded.

Nemone Metaxus: These are your, [laughs] obviously, your views…

Doug Stanhope: One’s got Down’s Syndrome and the other volunteered for Iraq . So that’s two retards out of five.... Oh nothing. They give me nothing, nothing but blank looks.

Nemone Metaxus: Doug this is your opinion, your opinion of what’s happening back home, so obviously, if something kicks off in America …

Doug Stanhope: For Pete’s sake, don’t stare at me like that. The woman has a baby with Down’s Syndrome; how can America get behind her when even God obviously hates her. [laughs]

Nemone Metaxus: I think we’ll leave that to you. That’s obviously what you think about I’m sure there are some….

Doug Stanhope: So that’s some of the stuff we’ve been dealing with.

The only way you could make this more unpleasant would be to suggest there was something 'edgy' about calling people with Down's "retards":

The broadcaster pointed out that BBC 6 Music is aimed at an adult audience and that Friday’s edition of Nemone in particular, regularly features guests with edgier, more adult orientated material.

What does that mean? It's okay to call people retards providing the audience is over 18? Surely the point is that this is offensive - in the thoughtless, cruel sense of the word - rather than a naughty swearword?

I think Ofcom might have issued its first ever sarcastic response in this case:

Ofcom acknowledges that BBC 6 Music attracts a predominantly adult audience and that regular listeners who are familiar with the irreverent style of its presenters and guests may not necessarily find the use of words such as “retard” offensive.

... "I mean" said Ofcom, "if people are tuning in for the George Lamb show it's not like they're going to be that sophisticated in their tastes, is it?"

Finally, perhaps in the interests of political balance, Guardian Media Group's 96.3 Rock Radio had its own jaw-dropping moment:

Donald Macleod, a Scottish music industry entrepreneur and newspaper columnist, presents a show on weekdays from 18:00 to 22:00 .

During the broadcast in question, the presenter said the following when introducing the song ‘Black Hole Sun’ by Soundgarden:

“Barack Obama’s favourite song. Your Mum’s got a big black hole, son” .

Don, in his offensive, insisted that he didn't mean this to sound racist and explained that he'd been "under some pressure within the studio". And he does seem pretty angry with himself that something so unpleasant slipped out.

Oddly, nobody seems concerned that it was also unpleasantly sexist, too. Perhaps that's something for another time.

Gordon in the morning: ... and his big chums Coldplay

Of course, the fifteen hundred words that Gordon wrote yesterday about wasn't the actual Coldplay interview, it was just Gonzo journalism. Not in the Hunter S Thompson sense, more in the Muppets sense: a strange creature hanging around backstage ill-advisedly taking the spotlight.

That means we don't even get to the interview today. And what's Gordon's big scoop after all this unprecedented access?

THERE is one huge drawback being in a globally successful rock ’n’ roll band on the road – missing The X Factor.

For a revelation like that, Rebekah Wade will be signing off any expenses claim. "If you go overseas, you can't see British television". Whoever would have thought?

Actually, you'd have thought that Martin might have sprung for a Slingbox - or, if they cared that much, got someone to send out the thing on DVD. Bloody hell, twenty years ago Smash Hits would routinely detail touring bands receiving tapes of Coronation Street. And that was back in an age when video technology hadn't even left the swamp.

There's also this:

Another story that turned their heads in America was the BBC “Manuelgate” prank phone call scandal.

Chris said: “The Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross situation, now that was world news. Jonathan Ross is funny and he’ll be back.

“I have to say, if someone phoned me up and said they had done that to my grandaughter I would be livid.”

Let's leave aside the searing insight from Martin - "Jonathan Ross will be back" is the sort of wisdom sadly missing from the Guardian MediaTalk Podcast - in what way was this 'world news'? I was out the country at time and, surprisingly, none of the US networks seemed to be in the least bit interested in a small spat over a late-night radio programme. Funny, that.

But it's not just media stories to which Smart and Martin bring forensic attention. Oh, no, they do politics as well:

He joked: “The Palin situation did my head in. It is a moral dilemma when you fancy someone but you don’t agree with anything they say. Do I want to kiss you or run away? I haven’t had that feeling since school.

“All girls have something incredible about them. In fact, I would definitely sleep with Ann Widdecombe. I stand by that comment, even when it’s all over the internet.”

Guy, the bass player and heart-throb of the band, joked: “I wouldn’t say no to Sarah Palin.”

How impressive that Chris Martin's acknowledgment of the one hundred and fifty years of struggle by women to have their voice represented in the seats of power comes down to if he wants to kiss them or shag them. What a literal tosser.

Apparently convinced that he's morphed into David Frost, Gordon then brings the conversation round to Baby P. Given that they're a dull band of millionaires, is there anything Coldplay can bring to the debate other than muttering some platitudes?

Guy, 30, who has a two-year-old daughter, said: “One of the worst crimes anyone could commit is abusing a child. It’s saddening. I can’t actually believe that people could do it.

“I don’t know what must have happened for them to do something like that. It is beyond comprehension.”

At least, you'd think, they'd have something to say when they get on to music, right? But the trouble is, Gordon clearly isn't even listening to what his new chums are saying. Chris attempts to flesh out his thoughts about the band finishing in the next couple of years:

“Being in a band is like being a footballer. We have an age limit. It is fine to be a middle-aged band but you have to have put the work in.

“By the time the Rolling Stones were our age, they had five times as many albums. Before you get to 33 you’ve got to have at least five albums. We don’t want to sit around and drink cocktails."

After Chris Martin laments that Coldplay's output is just twenty per cent that of The Stones, how does Smart react?

The band’s work ethic is seriously impressive.

No, Gordon - they've just said that it isn't. What makes it even more cringey is that Gordon would have written this after hearing Martin say it in the flesh, after having transcribed it from the interview, and then having typed it into the interview. Three times Martin admitted the band were slackers, and Smart still hails their work ethic. Perhaps he just couldn't get Martin and Widdecombe out his head.

I'm Jewel, and Palin's like a glittery prize

Apparently falling for the line that women didn't like Palin because she wasn't feminist enough, Jewel has leaped to fellow Alaskan Sarah Palin's defence:

"Alaskan women are very can-do women. We're the pioneer state! The women who settled (in) Alaska had a large role in shaping it. The way I was raised, I never thought I was any different than boys. You can really see that in Sarah Palin."

Fair enough - although Sarah Palin's background is beauty shows and sports reporting, which is hardly the sort of stuff that shaped the pioneer state. (Actually, isn't Ohio and not Alaska the Pioneer State anyway?)

The trouble is, of course, shooting a few moose doesn't make a feminist. Certainly not if you do it in your time off from, say, happily allowing rape victims to be charged for the kits to collect evidence, or leading attacks on reproductive rights.

He's not a plumber, he's not called Joe and he's not going to be worse off under Obama

Although McCain likes to call us - all of us - "my friends", he doesn't really have that many friends, does he? So it's not surprising that McCain grabs closely anyone who shows the slightest interest in him.

But what is Samuel The Unlicensed Plumber Wurzelbacher's motivation for hanging around McCain, endorsing him and going out to stump for the downward spiral? It turns out it's got nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with trying to launch a career as a country musician:

On Tuesday, Wurzelbacher joined country music artist and producer Aaron Tippin to form a new partnership that includes booking-management firm Bobby Roberts and publicity-management concern The Press Office to field the multiple media offers he’s received over the past few weeks.

Less harmless than Palin's motivation (a 2012 run in her own right), perhaps, but it must be heartbreaking for McCain to realise that his expensive presidential bid is running out its last few days as the poor man's American Idol.

Hank Williams does Palin's bidding

As if the family name hadn't been sullied enough, Hank Williams Junior is trading in what's left of his goodwill in the interests of supporting Sarah Palin and John McCain.

He's rewritten Family Tradition as the McCain-Palin Tradition (a tradition that stretches back to, erm, September, given that they're keen to claim to have nothing to do with previous administrations). But it gets worse than that. Much worse:

The chorus now includes the lines "John and Sarah tell ya just what they think, and they're not gonna blink"

Although Palin is known for a quick wink. And on the rare occasions when Sarah does tell you just what she thinks, she then has to appear on the news with McCain with him complaining that she was tricked into saying what she thinks by a devious person asking her a straight question.

The Republicans upset yet another musician

At this rate, if McCain does win and makes it through to his inauguration, they're only going to have the Charlie Daniels Band left to play for the party. Jon Bon Jovi has joined the chorus of acts asking the GOP to just not play their music. Sarah Palin - who's based on a character created by Tina Fey - had been using Who Says You Can't Go Home at her rallies.

Which not only implies an endorsement from Bon Jovi, but is a poorly chosen song anyway: nobody is saying you can't go home, Sarah; indeed, half the world is praying that you will.

Gosh darn it, dontcha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?

Nicole Scherzinger has extended the hand of friendship to the toast of the mob, Sarah Palin. She's even suggested that the Pussycat Dolls might pal around with Palin - why, she could even get a try out for the band:

"She seems like a headstrong woman, a tough chick. And she's hot."

Funnily enough, those were the same qualities that led to the Republicans adopting her as the vice presidential candidate, although obviously the Pussycat Dolls tend to run better background checks before formally adopting a member.

James P - who brought this to our attention - points out this is US politic's very own "Margaret Thatcher was the first Spice Girl" moment. He concludes:

Oh, and she can see TaTu from her house too.

McCain annoys another band

We know the McCain-McCheese ticket is struggling to connect with anyone much beyond the hardcore Republican vote, but surely even they must have some sort of musician amongst them? Only time after time, McCain's people are getting annoyed letters from acts whose music they've used.

Latest to object to being linked to the downward spiral are the Foo Fighters:

“It’s frustrating and infuriating that someone who claims to speak for the American people would repeatedly show such little respect for creativity and intellectual property. The saddest thing about this is that ‘My Hero’ was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential,” the Foo Fighters said in a statement. “To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song. We hope that the McCain campaign will do the right thing and stop using our song — and start asking artists’ permission in general!

Butgoshdarnsucks, Foo Fighters, dontcha think that Sarah Palin and her snowboard hobby writing-off family are just like that common man, huh? Winkity-wink-wink?

Nine point lead, incumbents trashing the economy, Sarah Palin incapable of answering a question with anything other than the word 'maverick' ...

What could possibly go wrong for Obama?

How about Sharon Osbourne instructing America not to vote for Sarah Palin:

It reminds me of, like, a hokey Disney movie... where somebody from nowhere suddenly ends up ruling the world. I don't know her, I've never met her, but come on!

Wow, the Republicans really did do a poor job on vetting Palin, didn't they? Not nly did they not spot her lack of knowledge, the absence of empathy, the charging rape victims for their rape kits, the whole lying thing, the earmarks and the firing of people she didn't like, they missed that Sharon Osbourne hasn't met her. Boy, if ever you were begging to be punished at the polls.

Hey, Sarah: remember he's the King of Ireland, not the President

As Sarah Palin attempts to cover up her apparent lack of knowledge of the outside world by meeting as many leaders as she can in one forty-eight hour period, she's even made time to catch up with Bono:

The Alaska governor will also meet U2 singer and global anti-poverty campaign Bono on the sidelines of the UN meeting, said the ONE campaign, which is associated with the Irish rocker.

The McCain campaign specifically asked to include Palin in Bono's planned talks with the Republican presidential nominee, ONE said in a statement.

And why would Bono refuse to take part in a photo-op to shore up the rapidly unraveling decision to stick a fundamentalist, animal-slaughtering, serial lying, untested, scandal-riven governor on the ticket, huh?

Russell Brand manages to boost US teen pregnancy rate

As part of his shtick at the MTV VMAs this weekend, Russell Brand launched a squawking mock-bomb on the Jonas Brothers and their much-touted silver rings.

The abstinence people, though, are putting a brave face on it, claiming it's good news for them:

"I've received a good amount of feedback," said Jason Burtt, national director of Silver Ring Thing, a program that asks teens to pledge to remain virgins until marriage. "Nothing negative, but mostly positive support from all over the country from people interested in the program."

Of course, the Silver Ring people have more than enough negativity to cope with - what with how virginity pledges don't work - but still, it's nice the hear they're building on Brand's jokes as a way of spreading their failing message a little wider.

It's interesting that MTV News runs a largely uncritical piece - almost as if the parent company is desperate to balance out Brand's comments by bending over backwards. There is, at the very end, a mention of the negative studies into the idea, but downplayed:

A number of studies have shown that teens who take purity pledges tend to delay becoming sexually active for about 18 months longer than teens who don't, but that when they do become active, they are more likely to have unprotected or risky sex, though [Silver Ring Thing founder Denny] Pattyn said he does not support those findings.

It's not clear why a vague attempt to balance the story is then wiped out by quoting someone whose career depends on the Teen Abstinence industry. it's like running a piece saying how great turkey is, and then taking the one negative comment about turkey and adding that Bernard Matthews takes issue with the point.

Indeed, Pattyn has trouble with the idea that anything is a negative for his campaign:

"This is a big, big to-do," Pattyn said of the flap in his community over the Jonas Brothers/ Brand issue. "It's fantastic for an organization like ours, and we think this will open up some major things." Pattyn said he gave Meghan McCain one of his group's rings to give to Governor Palin for her daughter "to let her know we're supporting her and praying for her."

You might think that it might be a little late to be sending Bristol Palin a ring to mark her abstinence - and, indeed, coming from a home whose mother is committed to replacing sex education with abstinence "education", might prove a salutary example of just how it might not work to not mention the condoms at all.

Pattyn is using the extra attention Brand's gag has given his organisation to try and get access to Sarah Palin - something of an open door. If the election goes the wrong way, Russell Brand might have played a part in condemning a whole slew of young American girls into not getting proper sex education. Well done, Russell.

McCain ignores cease-and-desist letters

There's a degree of irony in John McCain - a man who has helped the current administration dance to the whim of the copyright industries - choosing to pointedly ignore a cease-and-desist letter. The Wilson sisters from Heart made it clear they didn't want him using their music:

Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart have informed the McCain/Palin Campaign that Universal Music Publishing and Sony BMG have sent a cease-and-desist notice to not use one of Heart's classic songs, "Barracuda," as the congratulatory theme for Sarah Palin.

The Republican campaign did not ask for permission to use the song, nor would they have been granted that permission.

"We have asked the Republican campaign publicly not to use our music. We hope our wishes will be honored."

So what came parping out of the speakers once McCain had got to the end of his "I'm not my own man" speech?

Yep. Barracuda.

Copyright law is for other people. John McCain is a scofflaw.

Lohan: Palin pregnancy a distraction

Lindsay Lohan has taken to her blog to air her worry that press obsession with Bristol Palin's pregnancy is taking attention from what's really important: Lindsay Lohan. Sorry, "the issues":

"Well, I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views, and what she can do to make our country a less destructive place," Lohan wrote. "It's distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.

She continued, "I am concerned with the fact that Sarah Palin brought the attention to her daughter's pregnancy, rather than all world issues and what she believes she could possibly do to change them — if elected. I get Sarah Palin's views against abortion, but I would much prefer to hear more about what she can do for our country rather than how her daughter is going to have a child no matter what."

Lohan, of course, is known for her focus on public policy - hence her nickname Lindsay 'Medicare this, surge that' Lohan - and, I guess, it's this concentration on policy detail that has led her to get confused and apparently believe that Palin clambered onto a stage and bellowed "my daughter doesn't seem to offer my hope that my desperate belief in abstinence will work".

Still, let's hope Palin will heed Lohan's call and start to focus on the important questions, like, when will these Alaskans get off the gossip pages and leave them to those who work for it?