The real problem at the heart of the Sun's Bizarre column is not its shaky grip on research, or its frequently rushed pieces reading like the first draft of an Innovations catalogue. The real, screeching paradox is the column affects to be some sort of papery-conscience to the stars, calling them on their actions and exposing their wrong-doings, but as soon as Newton finds herself face-to-face with one of the people she writes about, she turns into a gushing schoolgirl.
For example, today she meets James Blunt:
But now, with the follow-up album to his multi-million selling debut Back To Bedlam, JAMES BLUNT is about to prove he’s much more than a one-hit wonder.
His new album, All The Lost Souls, is a collection of Seventies-inspired classic pop songs with emotional heart-rending lyrics and melodies that you simply can’t get out of your head once you’ve heard them.
It would be almost impossible to come up with an album that could mirror the achievements of 2005 sensation Back To Bedlam, which sold 11 million copies worldwide and is the second best-selling album since 2000, behind DIDO’s No Angel.
And the pressure of coming up with a better song than You’re Beautiful would surely be too much for any songwriter.
We wouldn't have thought so - the Big Brother housemates managed to come up with a better song than You're Beautiful in about ten minutes a couple of weeks ago; indeed, our cat manages to come up with a better tune than You're Beautiful when he'd rather have a pouch of wetfood instead of biscuit.
What's really strange about this, though, is that Newton thinks she's praising Blunt, but effectively she's implying that all the signs are that he's one trick pony.
Of course, when most people have had a successful first album, the second one is usually a duff affair focusing on how fame bites and how many drugs they've taken since they became famous. Surely a trap Blunt won't fall into, eh, Victoria?
I can’t help but think this song has been inspired by spending many a night in the drug-fuelled nightclubs of Ibiza.
And in one standout track, Give Me Some Love, James makes reference to drugs with a line in the chorus that says: “Give me some love, I’ve taken ****loads of drugs.”
Same Mistake sounds a bit like a track that could have been penned by COLDPLAY frontman CHRIS MARTIN, and is the song James performed at last Saturday’s Live Earth gig.
The album also tackles the issue of dealing with fame, which James has struggled with.
His overnight global success and his penchant for bedding beautiful and famous young women has meant he’s made a fair few appearances in newspapers and magazines.
This is reflected in songs such as Annie and One Of The Brightest Stars.
James says: “Just because I’ve been given the fickle title of celebrity, it doesn’t mean I’m any less human. I go through the same things, only my mother hears about them first now!”
So, there's two about drugs, one that sounds like Chris martin and a song about the pressures of fame. The surprise, I guess, is how few sound like Coldplay.