We wonder if there was a second plan to fill a page on Sun Money if they hadn't gone with how Pete Doherty can sort out his finances instead.
This piece, contributed by Tim Heming, worries about how Pete can get back on his feet now that Kate has kicked him out:
We love the headline. Because it's like Heming doesn't realise that the "shambles" bit of the band's name is there as Shambles. The capitalisation makes it look like a bloke who's just seen the dinosaurs in a magic-eye picture and are amazed to find them there.
Eh? He really is in the face?
He could save two grand instantly? Not over the course of a year? Either Pete has about 400 packets of fags on his person at any time, or this doesn't quite add up. Somewhat coyly, Tim doesn't make any suggestion about, ooh, other expensive habits which Pete could drop to keep a few quid in his back pocket.
Apart from seriously underestimating the value of the instruments, what sort of financial advisor would turn to anyone in hard times, and say "the best thing to do is sell the tools of your trade?"
If Pete’s going to have any chance of getting a mortgage on a new home, it’s not a bad place to start.
Now, there's a criteria that Kirstie and Phil haven't had to work with yet - "I want something with three bedrooms, a large garden, an outhouse for my pottery hobby I plan to turn into an ill-fated business and, ooh, it must be near a prison."
But hang on a moment - the Sun's best advice is that Doherty gets a mortgage? And how did they describe his position before they made him flog off his means of income?
So, no collateral, no regular income, the possibilty of being unable to earn in the near future: where does the Sun think he's going to find someone who'd lend him enough for a £200,000 single bed flat based on their assessment of his financial position?