Johnny Borrell is the MC Scat Cat of our time

You remember MC Scat Cat: he was the male vocalist on Paula Abdul's Opposites Attract. She hated cigarettes, he liked to smoke. Just like Johnny Borrell and Kirsten Dunst, it turns out:

"She couldn't stand the smell of stale fags, beer and kebabs in her nice living room. Can't say I blame her, really."

Unlike an animated cat boyfriend, though, this is all two steps back, with no steps forward.

"We were leading different lifestyles. It's over. She believes in equality, that a bloke should chip in with the housework."

We imagine at this point, Borrell's PR person coughed loudly.

"Fair enough, but I'm messy, and I love messing around with bikes."

How sweet of Borrell to concede that being asked to stick a hoover round occasionally is "fair enough". It's like one of them new men you read about in the papers, isn't it?

Johnny then goes on to list some other ways in which the couple were total opposites:

"I have been incredibly busy recording our latest album and I'd be rolling in at all hours, when she'd be getting up to go on set filming How To Lose Friends & Alienate People."

He's a late night rock star, she's a daytime film star.

"I'm very much a night owl, and she's up with the lark."

Um... that's the same thing, isn't it?

"She's a really cool girl and she loves London and Britain."

... while Borrell isn't and doesn't, we can only conclude.

Not that Johnny cares, of course, as he's simply too busy to have a girlfriend:

"My focus now is on breaking America. So there's not really time for a love life. There was no one else involved. Besides, we've been performing at festivals and touring nonstop and barely have time to think, let alone go out on a date."

And yet you still found the time to make the place stink of beer, ciggies and kebabs.