Mills: The media is just beastly

Sobbing on the GMTV sofa, Heather Mills tells how terrible the media has been to her:

“I have been offered nothing, OK? Nothing! We go to court over my daughter. I’m not allowed to talk about it because it’s a criminal act if I talk about my daughter. You have no idea what’s going on. These figures are made up. £100 million, £50 million, £20 million … How do you know if I even want any money? I’m £1.5 million in debt in lawyer’s fees. And that’s as much as I can say or I go to jail for telling the truth. So I’m gagged at the moment because I’m not allowed to say a word while the media are fed this spin by a certain corner.”

How do we know if she wants any money... hmmm, perhaps because if you didn't, it's unlikely that there would be constant deal-or-no-deal meetings in court. Unless we're expected to believe that McCartney is trying to force money on Heather and she's trying to argue her way out of it?

So, there's a big court order banning Mills from "talking about her daughter", then. Only, when she's asked if Paul is trying to enforce a permanent ban on her doing media interviews, she snorts:

“It’s rubbish! I could sell my story right now. I’m trying to protect Paul and our daughter.”

So, she could sell her story right now despite it being a "criminal act" if she talks about her daughter. That makes sense, then.

And then Mills just gets weird:

My sister was crying her eyes out because that awful Jordan and Peter Andre did a joke on Sunday and I’ve had six amputee girls crying their eyes out because they’re getting bullied at school because people are joking about the loss of my limb. Jonathan Ross said, ‘She’s such an effing liar. We’ll find out she’s got two legs instead of one'.”

Ross called you a "fucking liar"? Really? When? Or are you, you know, making things up in the media? And even if the "crying amputee girls" are being bullied because of you (and are there really children who wouldn't bully kids different from themselves until Mills started divorce proceedings?), isn't there something horribly cynical about throwing them into a GMTV interview?

But that's not as low as Mills sinks: she then compares herself to the dead of Hillsborough:

“I’m not fighting the press, I’m going to the European Parliament. And we’ll change the law like I did with a group of like-minded people where they have to have responsible journalism! They’ve pushed so many people over the edge. Extraordinary people have written to me. Look at Hillsborough; look at them saying, ‘They looted the pockets of the dead bodies’ when they were trying to find IDs to find out who they are! They urinated all over them.

She went on to say: “My plan is to change the law in the European Parliament and I will do it. I’m fed up with a specific portion of the media. Some of them are still supportive, but some of them that are abusing me. I will investigate every single one of those journalists.”

Every single one, eh? Blimey. You're going to be busy.

The Times isn't exactly quaking in its boots:

She directed viewers to the website youk.com to find out more about her petition. Times Online was unable to find any reference to the campaign on the site.

We can understand Mills being frustrated by the way the media portrays her, but this isn't the correct response. Comparing herself to, say, the McCanns - and she does - and the attempt to elevate her victimhood to martyrdom has the net result of leaving herself looking absurd.

Oddly, despite the media being so terrible, she has, you know, used it to her advantage:

For six years, when I lost my leg, I was the model that overcame adversity, inspired other amputees to get on with their lives. Front page of all the newspapers. The Sun, "Model of Courage". They serialised my book. I told my whole life story in my book. It all went to charity. The Sun had it there. I talked about my glamour modeling when I was a teenager.

Ah, but apparently, this doesn't count because she was doing it for charidee:

I haven't used the press for anything except my charity. When did I promote a record? When did I act for anything?

Um... Dancing With The Stars? Guest-hosting Larry King Live? Doing, ooh, GMTV interviews?

[UPDATE: Thanks to all the commenters who pointed out that Ross did, actually, call Mills a liar. Sorry we didn't believe you, Heather. And the Times has explained the uk.com website]