They're the seventh most important awards of the year

Here are the winners of today's Q Awards, held on a Monday lunchtime over a bare dinner table, like a head of departments meeting in a failing comprehensive, and with about as much impact:

Best act in the world today
Arctic Monkeys

Best album
Amy Winehouse, Back to Black

Best track
Manic Street Preachers, Your Love Alone is Not Enough

Best video
Kaiser Chiefs, Ruby

Best new act
The Enemy

Best breakthrough artist
Kate Nash

Best live act
Muse

Classic song award
Stereophonics, Local Boy in the Photograph

Classic album award
The Verve, Urban Hymns

Classic songwriter award
Billy Bragg

Innovation in sound award
Sigur Ros

Lifetime achievement award
Johnny Marr

Q merit award
Ryan Adams

Q hero
Anthony H Wilson

Q legend
Ian Brown

Q inspiration
Damon Albarn

Q idol
Kylie Minogue

Q icon
Sir Paul McCartney

Most of these prizes seem to be decided by who'd turn up, and so veer between the "really?" and the ho-hum; the appearance of the Stereophonics as a "classic song award" is, however, interesting - Local Boy In The Photograph is certainly the best thing they ever did, but surely Kelly Jones won't be delighted by the public acknowledgment that, effectively, it was downhill all the way from the moment the band first broke through?