And what scoop does Gordon have first?

As Gordon admits, it's same old, same old:

ALL change on Bizarre but it’s the same old routine for GIRLS ALOUD.

[...]
CHERYL COLE with hubby ASHLEY COLE gazumped Kim with the best outfit. You can’t deny she has cracking bangers.

Now, when Victoria used to run upskirts and downtops, it was nasty but at least there was the pretense that this was a "hey, girl, you forgot your pants", girl-to-girl fashion emergency service. Gordon Smart running a picture of a woman without a bra on going "cracking bangers" has the uncomfortable feeling of a drunk uncle peering down tops at a family gathering. It's really seedy.

In the spirit of introducing myself – here’s my Girls Aloud order (no explanation needed): Chezza, NADINE, NICOLA, Kimberley and SARAH.

Oh, classy, Gordon. Will we also get the order in which you'd fuck Take That?