And so the Sun rises on a new era, with Gordon Smart taking over the controls at the paper's Bizarre column.
Hey... he's called Gordon, and you know who else is called Gordon?
Yes, yes, the "moron" in Jilted John's hit, but you know who else?
Yes, the Prime Minister. But it's not a thought they'd push, is it?
Oh. They are.
And push it, and push it.
Well, yes. Gordon Brown doesn't look like he's one of the guys who turn up at the end of Homes Under The Hammer saying "I would value this property at £137,000...", for a start.
Still, the slight idea of hanging his launch column on a wan joke based on having the same name as the current incumbent of Number 10 over, what does... oh, he hasn't finished with it yet:
"Just like he has!" - ha ha! You can tell Gordon's a safe pair of hands, as he felt confident to leave off the "(SATIRE)" warning.
And, yes, Gordon does then fill a page with what he believes to be a something like a manifesto:
a) Little wrigglers and appear almost naked.
c) Making mugs of themselves.
d) Doing all the above. Otherwise, stay in rehab in America moaning about how you can’t handle your ale.
"Ale"? "Johnny Foreigner"? Where did Gordon spend his gap year - with Noel Coward? And what the hell is a little wriggler?
We wonder if - while Gordon was chuckling over the thought of encouraging people to drink too much, did he bother to read his own paper? Only Rebekah's editorials seem to send out the opposite message:
They worry about round-the-clock access to strong, ever-cheaper booze and the pressure on youngsters to drink themselves stupid.
...again and again:
Can the front of the paper really complain that young people are encouraged to drink themselves stupid and binge-drinking is seen as a joke when its showbiz editor is, erm, encouraging people to drink themselves stupid and regards binge-drinking as a bit of a joke?
That's a major break with the past, as those three would have been unveiled by the NME, The Sunday Show and Stephen Fry, of course.
Yes, nothing says "I respect your lifetime of achievement" like calling someone a "wrinkly rocker". We presume the "I will keep you legends alive" was a typo, and Gordon is promising to write about their tiresome antics rather than offering to pop down to give Keith Richards emergency treatment the next time he falls out a tree.
Aha. So, he's not like Labour - with the seedy passing of brown envelopes stuffed full of cash, the Prime Minister of Showbiz is in the mould of the John Major government.
Welcome, Gordon. Best of luck.