Doherty's long smack goodbye

A moment, please, to share in Pete Doherty's heartbreaking sense of loss:

"After years of entrenched drug abuse you have a mourning period. I know it's a bit sad, but I'm in mourning. I'm in mourning for an armful."

It turns out that, along with the rest of the world, Pete thinks he probably should have gone to jail:

"It's quite a lengthy probation requirement and drug-testing order," he said.

"It might have been better to do a couple of months and have it done with, to be honest."

Still, he's out now, and determined to make the best of it, although he's realistic about his chances:

"I don't want to go to jail, I've had enough of all that. But the chances of me not getting arrested once in the next 18 months are quite slim really - the way the Old Bill are."

Yes, the Old Bill and their ways, going round arresting people when they're taking drugs to "bury alongside their grandparents" or nosing about simply because some bloke has fallen to his death from a balcony at a party you then left rather quickly or stopping you driving illegally. It's like they're obsessed with crime or something, isn't it?