MC Harvey must be feeling at least slightly ashamed this morning - when he was in the So Solid Crew, he probably expected to have a lifetime of glittery fame. Now, he's reduced to grubbing out kiss and tell stories to the News of the World because his ex-wife is on a celebrity dancing show.
The charmer doesn't just moan on about Alesha Dixon, though, finding time to complain about having got Javine pregnant, too:
"It's challenging but interesting. You have to try lots of new positions. I go to the gym so much now because I've got to get the frustration out somehow."
Apparently he's never heard of masturbation, then. Which would explain how he got himself into so much trouble in the first place.
And so, what exactly is he kissing and telling? Very little, it turns out:
Sex in a car? Harvey, everyone who's ever borrowed an Allegro Coupe has had sex in a car. And a toilet, come to that. This is almost akin to saying "we had an interesting sex life; we once did it in a double bed. In a bedroom."
Still, Harvey's not really here to talk about women. Because there's only one love of Harvey's life. And that's Harvey:
"I have to be mature about the situation. I've got to say, ‘As good-looking as you are, that can't happen'.
"I'm a strong guy—even the fans that said, ‘You are so out of order', I'm killing them with excellence. You can judge me but you can't take my talent away from me."
Not unless you have a very, very fine net in which to catch it, no.