Dear Amy...

While Mitch Winehouse is out lamping Pete Doherty, Janis Winehouse has taken time to send Amy a letter, pleading and heartfelt, asking her to get some help.

Oddly, though, she's sent it through the News of the World. Perhaps she doesn't trust the post.

Why, you may wonder, would a mother think publishing the plea in the paper be a wise move? The note provides a hint:

Dear Amy,

I HOPE you understand why I'm writing this. We have spoken recently but many people will wonder why I haven't run down to whatever hotel you're staying in, scooped you up and taken you home for a hot bath and a steaming bowl of chicken soup.

It's because your father and I know what you're like, Amy.

We want to help you, but we know that unless you want to be helped— unless you come to us—anything we tried would be in vain.

So this letter is my way of making sure that you know that—that all you have to do is come to us, Amy, and we'll do everything in our power to get you well again.

In other words, this letter is more to show News of the World readers that Janis Winehouse is doing everything she can for her daughter, rather than trying to persuade Amy to do anything at all.
Winehouse mere goes on to tell the readers - sorry, Amy - that she was always "headstrong" as a child, before ramming home the point that it's up to her:

I know there's no point in me ringing you, fussing over you or ordering you to do something. I need you to take that first step, darling. I need you to call me, to pick up that phone and tell me what's troubling you.

At a guess, it's probably something to do with her nogoodnik husband being in the jail and having an addiction.

Ah... yes. The husband:

Some wonderful things have happened since that night, darling, but also some not so wonderful. Blake, your husband, might not be my favourite person—you know that, Amy—but he's your choice and I would never say anything about him to hurt you.

When I was quoted recently as saying "Thank God Blake's inside" what I meant was that putting him in jail might help him to clean up HIS act and change HIS life.

It wasn't said out of viciousness or to upset you. If your relationship is meant to be, it will survive.

I'm a great believer that everything in life happens for a reason, a purpose. And if you two are destined to be together forever, then so be it.

Not only is that less than ringing as an endorsement of the man, "so be it" is a phrase which can't actually be uttered without grinding teeth and rolling eyes.

Having to cancel your tour, as well, has been very sad. But I know it's happened for the best.

Despite disappointing all of your fans, who I know you treasure so much, maybe it will pull you up and make you stop and think and take stock of where your life is going.

Look! Fans! Don't run away just because she either doesn't turn up, or does turn up and just spits at you and suggests you'll get beaten up when her husband is out of jail. Amy treasures you. Don't you feel special?

Oddly, having decided that it's for the best that Amy has cancelled her tour, Janis then suggests that she really needs to be back at work:

You're a true professional who thrives on work and you need to get back into that routine.

We know you don't want to let your fans down. We know how important they are to you and how once you're over this present setback you'll give them a show they'll never forget.

To be honest, the shows on the aborted tour are unlikely to leave the attendee's minds anytime soon.

Let's hope that Amy, erm, buys the News of the World to see this heartfelt plea. And doesn't feel that it's not actually helping to drag the family's laundry through the popular prints.