Goodness... Dannii really hates Louis. Apart from the 'really' bit

Having treated its audiences like cash-cow schmucks, ITV now seems content to really treat them like they're stupid: The latest in a long line of staged X Factor 'arguments' happened on Saturday when Louis Walsh read out a line that cued up a walkout from Dannii Minogue:

She failed to return following an ad break, leaving Sharon Osbourne to fill her absence by clambering on to Simon Cowell’s lap.

We're not quite sure what "absence" it is that The Sun is suggesting Osbourne was filling there, and we really don't want to picture it.