Gordon in the morning

There are signs that Gordon Smart is starting to tire of the constant procession of breasts on his pages, restricting himself today to adding an "advent" shot of Heidi Klum and bunch of pictures of Paris Hilton in not much. This is prompted because, erm, Hilton went out dressed sensibly for December, which has worried Gordon:

Let's hope this isn't a sign of things to come, we're already losing JORDAN's mega bangers...

Some observers have wondered if Gordon knows that he's not making a private scrapbook to hide in the smoke-and-wank clubhouse tree, and there are signs that maybe he doesn't:

The blonde heiress is famous for showing off as much flesh as she can in her revealing outfits, but she decided to cover up for this special event.

I hope she doesn't find out I said this, but she actually pulled it off and looked great.

Pssst... Gordon, you're in a newspaper. People are reading what you write. Never mind Paris Hilton, your family can read it.

However, away from breasts, there's a little background homophobia as well. Jesse Metcalfe turned up to support his girlfriend when Girls Aloud played GAY at the weekend. Smart snickers away:

Jesse has a G.A.Y. old time

And when I first saw the pictures, I thought the Desperate Housewives star had decided to out himself.

But of course not.

Why "of course not", Gordon?

Jesse got a special award, bearing the club name, which he held up. But lest people got the wrong message he held on tight to Nadine.

Or, maybe, he was hugging his girlfriend because he was out with his girlfriend and the fear-of-being-thought-gay is merely something in your head, Gordon?