Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Gordon in the morning: Led Zep special

It was Gordon Smart, of course...

[UPDATE: As one of our commenters pointed out below, it wasn't Gordon - the biggest showbiz night of the year, and Gordon sent someone else - Pete Sampson, as it turns out.]

, who whipped off the Sun's tickets for LEDgendary Zeppelin (do you see?), revealing that - apparently - the showbiz hangers-on were really angry:

Tracks like Whole Lotta Love and Stairway to Heaven had every one of the fans — who included LIAM GALLAGHER and SIR PAUL McCARTNEY — on their feet and shaking their fists.

Perhaps they weren't angry. Perhaps they were shaking their fists because they'd confused Robert Plant with Gareth Hunt and were doing Nescafe advert shakes? Or maybe Gordon meant they were punching the air.

(Still, isn't it lucky that so many famous people won tickets in the draw, eh?)

The thing is, that despite GordonPete desperate to believe he was at something historical:
[T]heir classics proved music doesn’t rock like it used to

... he clearly isn't a fan:
[T]he bars at the O2 Arena in Greenwich filled during some of the band’s winding rock epics.[...]

After more than an hour the bulk of the fans got what they seemed to want most — a rendition of Stairway To Heaven.

Yes, they've waited decades just to hear one track.
The adulation of 20,000 almost-equally tired fans ringing in their ears, they trooped away into the darkness.

"Almost-equally tired?"

It doesn't really sound like GordonPete felt at home. Perhaps he was just pissed off that he was watching this room full of "middle aged and male" men while, across town, one of his Bizarre deputies was getting to hang out at the premiere of pointless St Trinians remake, with Girls Aloud.

Here, the headline is:
You Aloud in school like that?

Ah, yes. A pun on Allowed/Aloud. Which, erm, was the whole point of the band's name in the first place.

Still, back at the office, Gordon has seized the key question of the day is Dita Von Teese or Victoria Beckham hotter? There's even a poll padding out the page, too, on which scale we're expecting Gordon to give a column over tomorrow to cutting and pasting his Special Heroes Power he'll be uncovering on Facebook later this afternoon.


mary said...

It seems it really was a case of better the devil you know with this one - Vicky was pretty rubbish but at least she wasn't quite this bad.

Anonymous said...


simon h b said...

Anon - thanks for pointing out that byline. Gordon Smart didn't even bother going? That's a little surprising; even more surprising he sent someone who didn't like the band. Wonder what his more pressing engagement was?

karlt said...

At the bottom of the Girls Aloud piece is a scary little look into the dignity abyss that is Claire Sweeney:

“At break times I used to shut all the windows and doors in the classroom,” she said. “Then I’d get the girls to dance on the tables and the boys could watch – for a Mars bar!”

James said...

"Wonder what his more pressing engagement was?"

Hey, those Ladvent photos don't choose themselves. Gordon probably devotes many selfless hours every day, locked in his office, blinds closed, scouring the internet for the right photo. On behalf of his readers, you understand.

Just imagine the state of his Internet Explorer 'History' bar. Probably looks a lot like Kanye West's.

Anonymous said...

You're all overlooking the important question here dammit: Beckham or Von Teese??

Mmmmmmmmm Dita. That is all.

simon h b said...

Perhaps, Rachel, but it's hardly comparing like with like, is it? Beckham would come off worse in a head-to-head battle with a garden rake.

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