Cliff: Elvis, you're fat

Cliff Richard seems to think the stories he's telling about the past - like the review of The Beatles - marks him out to be a man of taste and distinction.

Actually, it just makes him seem more and more of a twit. Like his tale about deciding Elvis was too fat for him when Presley wanted to appear in a photo with his supposed British rival:

"I noticed that when he was making a film he would diet down and regain the animal magnetism. And I wanted a picture of Elvis looking good. So I said no and I waited."

Unfortunately, the offer came in 1976.

So, let's leave aside the question of how astonishingly up yourself you'd have to be to turn down a souvenir snap because you thought the person who'd be appearing with you was a little tubby, and just focus on this: Cliff Richard turned down Elvis Presley. Elvis Presley offered him a photo, and Cliff sniffed. We don't like Elvis much - we certainly think he was over-rated and lacked any semblance of quality control - but if he'd askedus 'do you want a photo, kid?', we'd have been 'hell, yeah'.

Presumably had Jesus offered a picture to Cliff, Richard would have said "ta, but comeback when you're clean shaven, pal."