Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Blakes and fake blakes

The News International web presence was having a bit of trouble earlier, and so it's only over lunch that we're able to catch up with what Gordon has for us today. His main focus of interest is that Amy Winehouse has been spending time with a man. Gordon, of course, nudges his audience like a washerwoman and tuts 'her with a husband inside, too, carrying on like that'.

Maybe they could get Roy Barraclough in to play Gordon, come to think of it.

Anyway, this 'man' is also called Blake. Yes, unlike in soap operas where they avoid having characters with the same name, real life isn't so simple. And it's doing Gordon's head in:

Yesterday, Blake II went with Amy to visit Blake I in prison. It's complicated, I know.

In what way is that complicated? If there were three Blakes, it might get a little difficult to keep track, but one Blake inside, one outside. It's quite simple.

In other news, Gordon gets someone to wring a quote out from a Victoria Beckham spokesperson about a photo which showed, um, nothing at all. "It's rather an unflattering crease" said the spokesperson, which wasn't enough to calm down Gordo:
Mum-of-three Posh, 33, sparked fears there was tum-thing wrong as she strolled around New York

They can't have been actual fears, could they? Because if someone was worried that some horrific fate had befallen Posh, you wouldn't really do a weak "tum" gag, would you?

And Michelle Heaton and Andy Scott-Lee tried to catch Gordon's eye by dressing as Britney and Adnan Ghalib. Yes, Adnan Ghalib. Although this seemed to involve nothing more complex than putting on sunglasses, to be honest. If they turned up at a fancy dress party dressed like that, you'd assume they'd just not had someone read the invitation to them properly.

Still, Gordon is annoyed by the whole thing:
Worst publicity stunt ever

SOME people say that BRITNEY SPEARS will do anything for a bit of publicity and that applies double to her snapper boyfriend ADNAN GHALIB.

So what does that make this latest stunt from MICHELLE HEATON and hubby ANDY SCOTT-LEE?

For me, it’s the most desperate attempt to stay in the public eye of all time.

In all my years following celebs I don’t think I’ve seen anything as cringeworthy as this pair dressed up as Britney and Adnan.

Oddly, though, if this is such a bad publicity stunt, why has Gordon decided to run a story about it, three pictures from the shoot and a large image of the cover of the magazine they're promoting in the UK's best-selling newspaper? I'd say that was quite a successful publicity stunt, wouldn't you?