It's interesting to note that the Sun's Heather Mills coverage over the last couple of days, which has historically been co-posted under the Bizarre heading online, hasn't been shared with Gordon's column. Which is odd, you'd have thought he'd have liked having something about a person with a porn past on his part of the website.
In the paper, the lead is claims that Lily Allen got asked to not sing Fulham songs in the West Ham director's box, after having had a bit too much pre-match hospitality. Gordon's source tuts:
These days. As in 'since football became too expensive for the riff-raff', presumably.
Gordon also has a probably-baseless story about Blake begging Amy for money for drucks via some sort of third-party bank account - although, unusually for the Bizarre column, there's actually a sourced comment to back this one up:
Goodness. We bet they had to send someone off to the reporter's desk to ask how you phrase it when you're not
No word of how Gordon has become privy to a letter from Pentonville to a solicitor, you'll note. Perhaps the security of the prison isn't all it should be.
For the Bank Holiday weekend, though, there's a special online feature:
We're pretty certain number five is Gordon himself, but we didn't want to look too closely.