Sell your televisions. Burn your eyes. Move to an address off mains electricity.

However bad the MTV American line-up gets, it's worse for us in the UK, as we tend to get swamped with the original poor programming and then - because the ideas box has healed over on both sides of the Atlantic - we have to endure the UK remakes, too. Usually involving Tim Westwood.

Which is why we're desperately trying not to cry at the news of Rock The Cradle:

In "Rock the Cradle," which premieres April 3, the non-pro children of well-known performers will compete against one another.

We'd have called in Stars In Their Loins ourselves - indeed, by the time the idea makes it through to ITV, it probably will be.

The concept itself is bad - we've seen Kimberley Stewart, Sean Lennon and Sally Magnusson and know what the idea of celebrity offspring are like. Apples falling far from trees rather than chips off old blocks. But then you get to see whose kids are being lined up:

Among the performers whose offspring will perform are Olivia Newton-John, Kenny Loggins, M.C. Hammer, Eddie Money and Dee Snider.

A world where entertainment is now being defined as Kenny Loggins' kid in a sing-off with MC Hammer's. Perhaps the problem is species extinction isn't coming quick enough.