Soulja Boy pulls tour

Latter-day Wordsworth Soulja Boy has canned his forthcoming US tour as he needs to work on his album, he says.

Although, of course, what sort of idiot cancels a cash-making tour to concentrate on a loss-chasing album in these times?

All the parents of America expressed disappointment that their children will miss the opportunity to hear about Boy's enormous penis and his indiscriminate use of rape; many are now looking for other ways to desensitise their kids.