Ireland, apparently, is facing a shortage of sperm donors, and in a bid to try and get young people to lend a hand, an agency called Sperm For Tickets has popped up, promising:
Any music festival? Really?
This doesn't really add up - if the offer was genuine, wouldn't the offer of tickets be a little more restricted? After all, there are some major music festivals which have already sold out, so to make some tosser's dreams of Glastonbury tickets come true, there'd have to be some pretty heavy digging into pockets and, of course, some circumvention of security rules. We'd expect a genuine offer to have some disclaimery terms and conditions on it.
Secondly, there's the lack of any indication that any fertility groups are involved in the scheme - unless SpermForTickets is operating to an Underpants Gnomes business plan (get the sperm delivered, then work out what to do with it), that seems totally unlikely.
Third, this offer is open to everyone across the globe who will, we're told, will be able to whack out in the comfort of their own home:
Since DHL and UPS are both pretty keen to only pick up properly labelled and packaged bodily fluids, it's unlikely that - even if this packaging somehow does exist and manages to keep sperm alive outside of a pair of testicles or a warm environment for so long - that'd be that keen on picking up parcels of spunk from any Joe Schmoe keen to get to T in The Park.
And let's not even get into the thorny problem of sperm donation across national boundaries with competing legislations covering the rights of donor, recipient and possible childrens, which you'd expect a genuine website to at least make some reference to.
A quick DNS look up points us to a group called Area52, whose website tells us:
It is comprised of individuals from varying backgrounds covering, marketing, graphic design, web design, data / documentation management, facilities management, management consultancy and IT hardware design.
The AREA52 concept is to bring together individuals from varying backgrounds in an idea generation forum, with a view to creating possible spin off enterprises or projects.
We're figuring this is either some sort of stunt to raise the group's profile, or to measure gullibility on the net. (NME.com has reported it, straight-faced.)
If it was genuine, it'd be such a botched, rotten idea and strewn with so many legal pitfalls as to make you hope that nobody involved was ever left in the care of the big fridge of sperms.