Lohan reaches for the sky

Lindsay Lohan's reluctant return to making records - for some reason, time is weighing heavily on her hands these days; will Disney not commit to a new Herbie movie? - is at least one she's taking seriously:

LINDSAY LOHAN has revealed that she would like her new album to be a party classic in the style of KYLIE MINOGUE and RIHANNA.

Yes. I'm sure you do wish that. Perhaps you should think about setting the bar a little lower - maybe Mandy Moore? Or the younger of the Simpson children?

The young actress, who has previously released two albums SPEAK and A LITTLE MORE PERSONAL, added that she hopes to tour with the record, telling Now magazine "I hope to really promote it".

Since it's unlikely to sell many copies, and you're going to be relying on income from people coming for a little look-see, you better hope you do.

Still, at least with the experience of the last couple of years behind her, there might be some substance to the record - some of the grit that's been picked up each time she fell?

Erm, no:

"I think the past is the past and it should be kept there," she told People magazine.

"It's a new slate for me, and I want to show that in my new record."

So, having done something interesting, she's decided to pretend it never happened. 'I've been to hell and back - let me tell you about the back' is perhaps the least alluring proposition she has to offer.