Darkness at 3AM: Allen claims she was just bursting

Yesterday, both Gordon and the 3AMies carried the 'Lily Allen/Noel Fielding/Johnny Borrell in a toilet' story with vague hints about drug taking. Only the 3AM Girls got a call from Allen explaining that there were no hi-jinks, only straining bladders:

"Everyone now wants to know what I was doing in there. But I'm telling you, I wasn't doing anything wrong, I'm an innocent bystander.

"Yes, I was in the men's toilets, but I always go to the men's toilets when there's a huge queue in the ladies."

Lily then insisted she never even got as far as finding a cubicle.

She trilled: "I did go in there and ask the attendant if I could go, and he said, 'No, you can't' and I walked out."

It was all a terrible coincidence then.

Nobody at the Mirror asks her how she was out having all these japes while, erm, being too unwell to judge the Orange Book Prize.