Catching up after Pete Samson had taken care of the actual business yesterday, Gordon finally gives his attention to Pete Doherty's imprisonment this morning. Smart tries to suggest that he's been "abandoned" by his friends.
It's not quite clear how this is supposed to be true - what with, for example, Babyshamble's other blokes telling the NME how, you know, it's a tragedy and everything, but Gordon has a good shot at trying to paint a picture of a man cut off and cast out:
Irina — Kate’s pal who Pete recently rekindled a fling with — and her mates left messages to break the news to the supermodel, but she didn’t reply.
They then tried to contact her through a friend, and were told: “She knows. She’s seen it on TV.
“She doesn’t care.”
I don't know if Gordon has somehow missed it, but Kate and Pete have long-since had a nasty split-up. It was in the papers, Gordon. Do you think that it might not be that surprising that she's not interested?
But that's not all Gordon's got:
A pal revealed: “Amy’s first reaction when she heard was to laugh.
“Pete had told everyone he was just going to court for a quick appearance and had no idea he was going to jail.
“She just laughed and kept saying, ‘I can’t believe it’. Pete’s just a comedy character to Amy. She thinks he’s a bit of a clown.”
Now, if this is true - and, you know, it's not like there's any reason to believe it is - but laughing and going "I don't believe it" when you hear surprising news isn't quite the same thing as thinking something is funny, is it? And if Amy Winehouse believes Pete Doherty is a clown, why did she a marry a Pete Doherty tribute act?
But not so. They are furious Pete’s jail term means he has cancelled the biggest gig of his life, at the Royal Albert Hall on April 26.
One wrote on a fan site: “How could Pete be so selfish as to let down hundreds of people? F***ing fuming. Pete Doherty is a ....” — you get the picture.
Yes, Gordon Smart - Showbiz editor of the UK's biggest-selling daily paper - is filling his column by reprinting random messages from internet messageboards. And without even crediting the board.
Wonder if anyone would notice if he just cuts and pastes the whole of Popbitch into the page tomorrow?